


somewhere beyond the darkness (there is light)

by hope27



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-06 03:26:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1842610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope27/pseuds/hope27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Slade is defeated, after their conversation on the island, after they return to Starling City, Oliver and Felicity try to figure out where they stand and where to go from here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** Hey everyone! So I started writing this right after the season 2 finale. I've got a good chunk of it done. I've gone over and over this first chapter trying to make sure it's okay and hoping that it expresses everything I hoped it would. 
> 
> I sincerely hope you enjoy this story. It's an intimate look at Oliver and Felicity's relationship after the 'i love you' and Slade's defeat. 
> 
> Comments really do make my day, week, year... :) Please let me know what you think! It really does mean a lot to me!

The sun was setting over the horizon by the time the plane touched down in Starling City. Felicity watched out the small windows as they coasted along the runway, a chill dancing up her spine at the few billowing clouds of smoke she could see rising from various places amongst the buildings. 

The damage Slade and his army had caused was still very much present and once again, Starling would have to rebuild. 

Her mind wandered back a year to the aftermath of the Undertaking. Chaos had reigned for months after the destruction in the Glades; crime climbed steadily until the police could no longer keep up with it. Her normally safe neighborhood hadn’t felt as safe anymore. After a particularly bad spree of attacks in the area, Diggle had insisted on following her home every night, and she never refused.

It had taken almost a year but the city had seemingly gotten back onto somewhat stable ground only to have it ripped out from beneath them once again. 

This time the damage wasn’t contained to a specific part of the city either. Slade’s men had sprung up everywhere and caused as much destruction as they could before converging in that tunnel. 

According to her police scans that she kept checking even as they were halfway across the world, they were once again overwhelmed by the sheer number of calls. Reports of civilian casualties and damaged property continued to rise. And without a mayor or chief of police, there was no steady leadership or control.

The military had set up camp in the city. National guard members keeping the peace as best as they could despite the situation. Felicity knew there were ARGUS agents spread throughout, Waller wanting ears on the ground just in case there were rumblings of any more of Slade’s army or mirakuru.

Chaos seemed to have taken over the city they called home once more and her heart ached for peace again.

She didn’t realize the plane had stopped until a gentle hand on her shoulder jolted her out of her thoughts. Blinking, she tilted her head up to see Oliver leaning over her, his brow furrowed, concern creasing his brow.

“You okay?” he asked softly, and while there were various answers to that particular question, she simply smiled and pushed to her feet as he stepped back, instantly missing the warmth of his hand when it fell from her shoulder.

As they descended the steps from the plane, the realization struck her that she would be returning to her townhouse for the first time in days. It seemed like it had been weeks since she’d been there. In actuality, it had only been a few days; a few long and life changing days. 

Her thoughts quickly wandered to her neighbors, hoping they were okay. She knew they elderly couple that lived in the townhouse to her right rarely left their home. The thought of something happening to them caused her stomach to twist. Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, she hoped they’d made it out if anything had happened close to their street.

Oliver hand came into her line of vision at the last step and she looked up, her lips twitching upward in thanks as he helped to steady her as her feet touched solid ground once more. Their eyes locked as heat sparked through their fingertips, his calloused pads against her smooth skin. The butterflies in her stomach erupted in a chaos of fluttering wings as his gaze softened; that same look entering his eyes as he had worn on so many occasions before when it was just the two of them and the world around them seemed to melt away.

It wasn’t until Diggle cleared his throat that Felicity realized she’d been staring up at Oliver, once again trying to read his face - getting lost in all the emotions flashing through his darkened blue eyes. Whispered words still echoed in her ears and she released a long breath as she slipped her hand from his grasp and turned towards Diggle.

Smoothing out her skirt in a nervous habit, she regarded the man she thought of as her big brother. Lyla stood by his side, arm looped through his and she smiled at the happy look on the woman’s face. Diggle had told them both that she was expecting on the plane ride to Lian Yu. Felicity had immediately seen the flash of surprise and something that looked a lot like fear flash through Oliver’s eyes before he clapped his friend on the back in congratulations, quickly hiding those emotions behind his well-built wall. Digg, of course, had seen right through his attempt to cover it and had shared a look with her moments later when Oliver had looked back out over the ocean.

She’d immediately known Oliver was worried about losing his friend. She knew Oliver wouldn’t blame John if he wanted to get out now that there was a new life depending on him. But Felicity knew John and she knew that both Lyla and he weren’t ones to give up their jobs just because they were dangerous. 

She remembered a conversation she’d had with him during one of their daily morning coffee dates last summer when it had just been the two of them - Oliver disappearing after the Undertaking. Diggle and Carly had hit a rough patch in their relationship after he’d sent them away just before the Undertaking had happened. While he had made weekend trips out to see them and made every attempt to attend as many of AJ’s tee-ball games as he could, it was a strain on their relationship to be so far away from each other. 

The morning after a particularly bad fight between them, she’d sat with him in a corner booth at her favorite coffee house, tracing the edge of her coffee cup with her forefinger as she broached the subject. She quietly asked him how he reconciled the danger of working with Oliver or even his job as a bodyguard with having a relationship. One wrong move and he could be forever gone from their lives. 

John had sighed, his broad shoulders lifting up and down as he ran a hand over his face, thinking about his answer. 

And then he’d looked at her and said with no hint of uncertainty, “I do this for them. It’s why I joined the military and it’s why I work with Oliver to keep this city safe - to keep the people I love safe.”

Felicity had smiled, reaching across the table and covering his hand with her own. There was a moment of silent understanding that passed between them and then she had changed the subject to her newest project she’d been designing for the Foundry, but she never forgot his answer and as she listened to him talk about his impending fatherhood, those words came back to her. 

John Diggle was a man who would never stop protecting those he loved. He and Oliver were so very similar in that way. Even if they would never admit it.

“Felicity?” she heard her name being called and her eyes flew to John’s as his eyebrows rose in question, and she cleared her throat.

“Sorry...what did you say?” she asked, looking around at the three of them, and then for the first time noticing two different cars.

“John’s going to take Lyla home,” Oliver stepped up beside her, giving his friend a nod, “I’m going to take you.”

For some reason, Felicity felt her cheeks flush at the words and was glad that the shadows of evening hid it from view. 

“Right,” she nodded, looking around for her bag that she’d had on the plane.

“Already in the car,” Oliver told her, and she raised her eyebrows in mock surprise, murmuring a thank you to Oliver, before stepping up to Diggle.

“See you soon,” she said, planting a kiss on his cheek as he wrapped her in strong, safe arms.

He nodded as he set her back. “Yeah. You bet. You going to be okay?” he asked and she nodded, giving him the best smile she could muster.

“I will be,” she replied, knowing she couldn’t lie to him. “We’re okay.”

“If you need anything…” he persisted and this time Felicity shoved at his arm.

“Go spend time with Lyla. Don’t worry about us,” she said and gave him a genuine smile to which he finally nodded after a brief hesitation.

After bidding Lyla goodbye, she headed towards the car behind them while Oliver talked with Digg for a moment.

Opening the door, she slid into the cool leather of the passenger seat and, once the door was closed behind her, she let her head fall back onto the headrest. Her eyes slipped closed and for a moment, a silence that almost seemed too loud rang in her ears. Memories of mansion foyers and whispered words, jabbing a needle into Slade’s throat and the feeling of cold metal against her throat and piercing blue eyes looking at her with nothing but confidence and reassurance. It all came rushing back to her and her eyes flew open with a gasp as she sat forward, clutching at her chest, gulping in air.

A moment later, Oliver slid into the driver’s side, turning worried eyes on her as she sat back, willing her body to calm down.

“Hey,” Oliver said softly, hand halfway to her shoulder when she shook her head. 

“I’m okay...it’s just been a long few days…”she answered weakly and he let out a long breath and nodded in agreement, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them and finding hers once more, blue eyes swimming with concern and understanding.

“My own bed sounds wonderful right about now,” she murmured and he smiled softly, turning on the ignition and putting the car in gear.

“Then let’s get you home.”

For some reason, her heart ached at that word, knowing that her townhouse wasn’t really her home; she’d long ago gave another place that name.

As Oliver drove, she let her head fall back against the seat once more and watched the city go by, evidence of the destruction left by Slade’s men everywhere. They were detoured three times before they finally got close to her street. It was the line of armoured vehicles blocking the way that made her stomach drop; a cold ball of trepidation growing steadily in her stomach. 

Felicity frowned and opened her door before Oliver had even shut off the engine. She could see the billows of smoke rising from beyond the barrier and wondered how much damage there was to her neighborhood.

A young man in uniform greeted them, emerging from one of the armoured vehicles.

“Good evening, ma’am, sir...this sector is off limits to civilians,” he informed them briskly. “I’m sorry but you’ll have to find another way…”

“I live here,” Felicity blurted out, eyebrows furrowed. “My townhouse is just down the street.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but there was heavy damage caused by an explosion. Until the buildings can be deemed structurally safe, no one is allowed in to stay here.”

“Oh.” It seemed like an inadequate response but it was one thing too much. She wasn’t sure how to process the idea that she couldn't even get back to her own place.

The reality of the situation hit her all at once. She had no job, no place to live...not even a change of clothes…

Before she could completely follow her thoughts into that dark abyss, she felt a warm hand at her back, and she unconsciously took a tiny step back into it.

“Do you have a place to stay, miss?” the young officer asked, his voice weary from too many hours on the job.

She hesitated, frowning until Oliver spoke up. “Yes, she does,” he told the officer as his hand cupped her elbow in support.

Blinking watery eyes, she turned her head and gave him a grateful look. Her mind briefly asked the immediate question of where he was even staying considering half of the places he owned had been taken away or destroyed.

“Can I at least get some of my things?” she asked the officer, her voice cracking slightly.

The man frowned and shook his head, an apologetic look crossing his face. “I’m sorry. If you come back in the morning, someone might be able to let you in but we don’t let anyone past the barriers at night. The electricity and gas have been shut off to the buildings and it’s not safe.”

With a heavy sigh, she nodded, her shoulders sagging in resignation until Oliver gave her elbow a light squeeze. Seconds later, he found herself thanking the officer before he quickly led her back over to the car.

When the doors were shut and had once again blocked out the outside world, she closed her eyes and tried to rein in her emotions that were teetering on the edge of a precipice. So much had happened in such a short amount of time and, in so many ways, she just wanted to curl up in her bed in her favorite MIT shirt and sleep, but she couldn’t.

“We’ll come back tomorrow and find out more,” Oliver’s voice broke through the silence and her eyes popped open to find him looking at her with heavy concern.

She gave him a watery smile, not trusting her voice at that moment.

His gaze held hers for a moment longer than necessary, that feeling in the pit of her stomach starting to unfurl and then it was over as he glanced away and started the engine.

As they drove, she only had to wonder briefly where they were headed. As they began to leave the city behind them, taking the familiar roads back to the mansion, she could feel the tension begin to flow through her.

It wasn’t until her fingers began to ache that she realized she was clasping them together so tightly in her lap that her knuckles had turned white. Memories ate away at her as they pulled up into the darkened drive, no security at the gate to greet them.

When Oliver turned off the engine, they both sat in complete silence for seconds that seemed to last for minutes. Then, with a soft sigh, Oliver pushed open his door and got out. Felicity’s fingers fumbled with the door handle until it opened with Oliver on the other side.

She refused to meet his gaze as she climbed out and he shut the door behind them. Her eyes flickered to the steps in front of them and up to the massive stone structure. 

“This was ours outright,” Oliver said quietly, “Dad never wanted us living in a place that wasn’t truly our own.”

His voice sounded far away but she nodded just the same, and let him lead her up the stairs.

He quickly unlocked the door and ushered her inside, closing and setting the security system the second the door closed behind them.

Felicity turned as Oliver pressed in the last of the code, eyes adjusting to the darkened entranceway. She began to take a step forward and then stopped short as she stared at the foyer.

Memories swirled around her; emotions surrounding her until her feet felt like lead and she couldn’t move.

The last time they had been here he’d told her things she’d never dreamed he would say to her. Words that echoed in her head even now, louder than ever.

Her heart pounded in her chest and she breathed in deeply trying to settle her fraying nerves. Their conversation on the island came back to her - or rather, her rambling and his silence. He hadn’t agreed with her; hadn’t told her that the words were all a ruse. And deep in her heart, she knew that there was truth behind everything he’d said. He meant those words - as much as he could mean them.

Her heart flipped as she recalled how close he’d been standing, the blood that had rushed through her ears almost drowning out everything that came after those three words. Then, the cold realization that had followed so quickly as he’d pressed the syringe into her hand.

A light touch at her elbow caused her to jump and she clapped a hand over her breast as she blinked up to find Oliver standing in front of her, brows drawn together in concern but she could also see the turmoil that matched her own swimming in the deep blue oceans. He was remembering too. It was written all over his face - the realization that they were once again back in the same place they’d been not 48 hours earlier. Those words still floating in the space between them.

She wasn’t sure how long they stood in the entryway, staring at each other. The emotions she saw flit across his eyes gave her pause. Worry and fear crossed first, but then she saw flashes of longing - the same that he wore back on the beach - and sadness...honesty...a sea of so many different things that she found herself trying desperately to keep up. The warmth in his gaze filled her with hope and she couldn’t help but draw in a gasping breath as she drank that feeling in, holding onto it.

She knew they weren’t ready. She wasn’t even sure she completely understood everything that had passed between them in that moment. She knew what was in her heart, of course. The feelings she had for the man in front of her weren’t new. A part of her had been drawn to him since the day he’d walked into her office with a laptop full of bullet holes and a ridiculous lie. That draw had quickly turned to admiration and then to something deeper as she learned his secret and began to work side by side with him. 

After his return from the island, they’d only grown closer until she found her heart wrapped so tightly around him, the mere thought of ever losing him scared her more than she liked to admit. He’d carved out a place in her heart and she knew that no one else would be able to fill it. But she’d never thought he would reciprocate those feelings. And she’d made peace with that - knowing that as long as Oliver was happy, it would be okay.

But now...now, she’d heard him say the words with so much honesty and openness in his eyes that she knew...she knew. 

It was new territory; one in which she wasn’t sure how to proceed, but she did know one thing - she didn’t want to lose him.

“Hey,” he breathed, palm skimming down her arm before his touch disappeared, breaking her from her runaway thoughts.

She watched as he struggled for words until finally he found something, “You know…” he took a breath, “You know I could never lie to you…”

HIs words caused all the air to rush out of her in one big exhale. 

Tears clogging her throat, she nodded and gave him a soft smile. “I know…”

“I just…” he began again, but then stopped, looking so lost for words. He wasn’t ready. They weren’t ready. But that didn’t mean his words weren’t real or that they didn’t hold weight. She saw it all in his eyes, and answered with another soft, “I know…”

Her fingers found his and they both held on tight as unspoken words passed between them easily.

After a few moments, he tugged on her hand, “Come on…”

He only took two steps before her shoes hit something, sending it skittering across the floor. She froze, her eyes darting to the ground and all the breath left her body as she saw shards of a broken tablet screen staring up at her. It was her tablet. The one she’d been holding when Slade’s men came to take her. She’d tried to keep them from taking it but it had been torn from her fingers before she could even cry in protest.

Flashes of the panic and fear she’d felt as she’d paced this very foyer waiting to be taken; waiting in the silence, every sound making her jump until she was barely moving, her entire body on edge.

Her vision tunneled down to the shattered screen, glinting in the pale moonlight filtering in through the large windows. She fought to breath, but it was as if her lungs had stopped working and she could only take in small gasps at a time.

It wasn’t until Oliver’s familiar boots came into view and his large hands framed her face, urging her head up that everything snapped back into focus. With a heavy gasp, she let him tilt her head upwards, meeting his wide eyes as they looked at her with worry.

The low tones of his voice reached her ears but she frowned when she heard the strained note, searching his gaze and finding that she wasn’t the only one affected by the sight of her broken tablet at her feet. His eyes flitted down to it on more than one occasion and she saw the pain behind the concern.

Bringing still shaking hands up, she wrapped her fingers around his wrists and held on, finding the thrumming of his pulse point a comfort as the memories began to fade. 

It wasn’t until her breathing had returned to normal that he slowly let his hands fall from her cheeks to her shoulders, squeezing gently before releasing her completely. 

“Sorry,” she murmured, her voice thick with unshed tears. “I…”

“Shh,” he hushed her, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to maintain his own composure, overwhelming guilt flashing across his face. 

“I…” he began, and then abruptly stopped, his eyes dropping to the broken tablet once more before immediately finding her gaze and locking onto it. “Leaving you here was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”

The deep timbre of his voice - rough with emotion - caused her chest to expand as she inhaled sharply.

His eyes swept over her face, and for a brief second, he was stripped bare before her - the gut-wrenching turmoil and heartache that he’d gone through by putting that plan into motion staring back at her.

Before she could open her mouth to respond, he had turned away, one hand reaching back and finding hers effortlessly, and she held on tightly.

With easy, measured steps, he led her to one of the large staircases and started up, until she remembered something and her step faltered.

He turned when he felt the pull from her hand, a frown creasing his features. “Felicity?”

“The cameras…” she whispered, eyes looking around and suddenly she was back here all alone waiting for Slade’s men to come.

A shiver ran down her spine and Oliver must have felt it because his hand tightened over hers.

“Sara took care of them for me,” he told her, taking a step backwards onto her level. “She did it before she left with Nyssa...while we were with ARGUS…”

Taking a deep breath, Felicity nodded, letting some of the tension flow from her body. The sensation of being watched still stuck with her - memories hitting her hard as she recalled pacing the foyer and up and down the mansion steps, just waiting to be taken, wondering if he could see her; if he was watching her every move.

“We’re safe,” he reassured her and Felicity willed the images away and nodded her head, exhaling softly.

When Oliver started back up the stairs, she was by his side, letting him lead her to the right and down a long hallway.

He headed straight for a room on his left, pushing the door open and walking inside. Then as if he’d run into a wall, he stopped suddenly, his hand tightening on hers as he surveyed the space before him.

Although she’d never been in his room, she instantly knew that’s exactly where he’d lead them. Shadows clung to the corners as Oliver stared at the expanse in front of him as if staring into the past. Taking one more step so she was at his side, she saw the turmoil on his face; knew he was thinking of times past and how much had changed since he’d last been here.

She squeezed his fingers, as her eyes took in the room, flitting from the large dresser to the tall ceilings and floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the property and finally landing on the large king size bed in the center. Suddenly, it was all too much. Being in this room, his words still floating through her head with him by her side, hand in hand. 

It was one thing to know he hadn’t lied to her; to know the truth. It was another to be in such a private space at his side so soon afterwards, the warmth of his skin next to hers. Images flashed before her eyes of lazy mornings and strong arms wrapped around her as she woke, tanned skin against the white bedsheets drawing lazy patterns on her bare back.

Her chest tightened and she must have made a noise because Oliver turned to look at her but she was frozen to the spot. Yearning swept through her hard and fast and she knew she couldn’t stay in here. Her fingers went slack against him and she would have taken a step backwards if she could have made her feet move.

As if reading her mind, or perhaps because he couldn’t face the memories the room brought him, he mumbled a hoarse and throaty, “Wait here,” as he swiftly crossed to the large dresser and pulled out an old pair of sweats and a grey t-shirt.

Then he was back at her side, grabbing her hand once more and leading them back through the door, swiping a grey hoodie off a chair as they went.

Once they were back in the hallway, Oliver turned left, walking in even, measured steps until they stopped in front of another door.

With a long breath, he pushed open the heavy oak and led her inside. He flicked on the lights and the room was instantly bathed in golden hues of iridescent light. Her eyes swept over the expansive area and spied the large bed on one side, hearth on the other with two doors to her left and one to her right. It wasn’t quite as large as Oliver’s room but it was still bigger than most of her townhouse.

Motioning to the one of the two doors to the left, he quietly murmured, “Bathroom’s through there. The other is the closet...”

His hand suddenly slackened in hers as he let go of her fingers and walked to the door on the right. She immediately missed the warmth of his touch and curled her fingers inward. With a furrowed brow, she watched as he turning the knob and opened the door. Surprise washed over her to see it led to an adjoining room that looked slightly smaller than the one in which she stood.

When he turned back to her, he answered her unspoken question. “This used to be the nursery,” he said tiredly, “After Thea outgrew it, mother turned it into another guest room.”

Felicity’s heart ached when his voice cracked on the word ‘mother. So much pain still clung to him, tearing at him constantly.

“I can’t…” She frowned when he lifted his head to stare at her and she saw the desperation in his eyes. “I can’t stay in my room,” he whispered, agony filling his voice and she knew he was overwhelmed to even be back in this house with all the memories it stirred up within him. “I’ll stay here and you can have this room. If you need anything…”

Felicity nodded, wrapping her hands around her stomach unconsciously at the thought of being alone for the first time since this entire nightmare with Slade and his army had started. Icy tendrils of trepidation crept through her as the haunting memories of being here alone swept over her once more. Anger flared within her at feeling so helpless - that Slade could still reach them even now - and so she shook her head, refusing to let him have power over her - over them - anymore.

With a soft breath she opened her eyes to find Oliver three steps back into the room, frown etched across his face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately, erasing the distance between them until he could reach out and touch her if needed.

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip and tried to regain her balance, trying to shove the those fears into the back of her mind. Letting out a long breath, she looked down and then realized she still wore the pants, t-shirt and jacket from the plane. All of her things were still in her townhouse, miles away. 

She fumbled for words before finally blurting out, “I just...I don’t have anything to wear.”

He stared at her for a long time, eyes searching hers until she knew he could see it all that she couldn’t and didn’t want to hide from him.

After a few more moments, he finally broke their gaze and ran a hand over his short cropped hair. She could feel the heat from his touch through her jacket as his fingers skim down the underside of her arm, gently leading her over to one of the other doors.

“Thea used this room to store some of her extra clothes,” he stated, in the same detached voice he’d used when talking about his mother. “There should be something in here…”

She let him disappear into the closet, giving him a moment by himself. He returned in less than a minute holding a pair of soft cotton sleep shorts and large t-shirt.

With a grateful smile, she took the clothes from his outstretched hand and held them close to her chest.

“Thanks,” she murmured, exhaustion hitting her hard and fast, eyelids growing heavier by the moment.

At his nod, she turned towards the bathroom. Just inside the doorway, she stopped as she flicked on the light and then glanced over her shoulder. 

Oliver stood in the same spot, eyes still trained on her, a sad yet thankful desperation to his gaze. The longing directed her way was almost too much for her to bear and she could only give him a small nod before she turned and slowly closed the door.

The click of the lock echoed in the large space causing her to jump and she mentally scolded herself. She’d stood up against Deathstroke - a crazed mad-man with superhuman strength - she could handle the lurking shadows and chilling memories of the last time she’d been alone in this house.

Felicity changed in record time, pulling her hair tie out and letting her blonde hair spill down over her shoulders. She found a new toothbrush and toothpaste still in the cabinet by the sink and used it quickly. Wiping her face with a washcloth she found in the drawer, she sighed, taking in her tired expression in the mirror - wondering if she would be able to sleep without nightmares invading her dreams.

When she stepped back into the bedroom, Oliver was no where to be seen. A chill ran down her spine and she almost called out for him - his name on the tip of her tongue when she saw the soft glow of light from the other room spilling into hers. She let out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding when she realized he was nearby.

Crossing the distance in her barefeet, she peered into the slightly smaller room adjoining to hers. She found Oliver sitting on the side of the bed, head in his hands, the clothes he’d grabbed from his room now on in place of the cargo pants and jacket he’d worn off the plane.

As if feeling her presence, he immediately lifted his head and found her gaze. A flurry of emotions tumbled through his blue eyes and she couldn’t keep her own body from responding.

it was almost too much after everything that had happened and she quickly found herself breathing out a soft, “Goodnight,”before she turned and padded towards the large bed in the center of the room.

When she’d climbed in and laid her head down on the pillow, she was surprised to find the door to their rooms still open, Oliver’s silhouette in the doorway.

“Good night, Felicity,” he called softly, his voice rough with emotion that sent warmth shooting through her. Then, with a small breath, he turned off his own light and stepped away, leaving the doors to their rooms wide open.

Somehow the fact that she could see where he was gave her comfort and she let herself drift off, images of blue eyes and three words whispered in his soft voice playing through her mind.

Cold metal at her throat, the feel of her warm blood slipping down her neck and Oliver’s pained cry caused her to jolt awake with a gasp. Somehow she managed to hold back his name that was on the tip of her lips, begging to be released.

Untangling her legs from the sheets, she threw them off, grateful for the cool air on her overheated skin. She ran her sweaty palms over her face, and pulled in deep breaths as she tried to calm her racing heart.

The image of Slade looming over her was imprinted on the back of her eyelids, and her dream had been about everything going wrong as they’d confronted him, and ended with her bleeding out on the cold concrete floor, Oliver’s face hovering above her in agony. The last thought running through her mind that she had failed him.

Her eyes flew to the still open door between their rooms, almost expecting him to be in the doorway. Something deep inside of her ached to feel his arms around her and the safety his mere presence gave her. But she banished those thoughts knowing that she couldn’t…

They were still trying to navigate that line those three words had crossed and she wasn’t sure what would happen if she went to him now.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she scrambled out of the king-sized bed and walked the length of the room, trying to rid herself of the shadows of her nightmares.

Moonlight provided enough light for her to maneuver around the large room and she spotted the couch off to the side, positioned in front of the large armoire that held a flat screen tv.

Walking over to it, she let herself sink into the plush fabric and curled up against one side. Her body now cooled, a draft caused her to shiver and she wrapped her arms across her stomach as she reached for the remote and turned on the television, making sure to immediately thumb down the volume, hoping she hadn’t woken Oliver.

She flipped through the channels until she found something she could watch and then set the remote next to her.

She felt his presence before she saw him. Turning her head to the side, she found him only a few feet from the end of the couch, staring at her with a mixture of concern and relief. Shadows haunted his own gaze and she knew he’d been woken from nightmares as well.

Giving him a small smile, she brought her feet up closer to her body, opening up the end of the couch for him. He took the silent invitation almost immediately, letting his body relax back into the cushions. Her foot brushed against his thigh and she fought the urge to tuck her toes beneath the warmth radiating from him.

Another draft swept over her skin and she shivered involuntarily, curling in on herself.

She thought about asking Oliver where a blanket was but before she could, she felt him shift. Her eyes flew to his as he unzipped the grey hoodie she remembered him grabbing from his room and stood, taking the few steps over to kneel down in front of her. Gently, he wrapped it around her shoulders, thumbs flexing against her upper arms.

His hands lingered at her elbows and she felt the breath catch in her throat as his eyes silently asked her if she was okay. Briefly, she wondered if he hadn’t been awake long before her and heard her nightmare. The haunted look in his eyes all but confirmed that he’d had his own and part of his light touch was to make sure that she was in fact alive and okay.

With a long breath, she slipped her arms through the sleeves and found herself encompassed in Oliver’s scent. His hands found hers and gave them a soft squeeze which she responded to immediately. Glancing down, she regarded the image of their fingers interlaced, and it drew a deep longing from a special place in her heart.

His head bowed as he let out a long sigh and then he stood, returning to his place on the other end of the couch. This time she didn’t hesitate to let her toes push against his sweatpants-clad thigh, digging them beneath the warmth provided. Snuggling down into the cushions, she let her gaze drift back to the television. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Oliver do the same and for the first time since she’d fallen asleep, she felt the fears running through her mind and the remnants of her nightmare disappear.

She wasn’t sure how long they watched in silence before her eyelids grew heavy once more, but when she stopped fighting sleep, she felt safe again with him there beside her.

Soft streams of the earliest morning light met greeted her when she woke. For a moment, lost in the fog of sleep, she found herself smiling, pushing her feet further against the warmth they were nestled next to, and sighed.

The memories came flooding back as the last threads of sleep left her. She inhaled sharply as tiny bits of the previous days flashed through her mind and she found it suddenly very hard to breath.

With wide eyes, she whipped her head to the side and found Oliver’s sleeping form still at the other end of the couch. The sight of him calmed her and she let her head fall back to the pillow, her gaze never leaving him and the peaceful look he wore.

Her eyes traveled over the planes of his face, those whispered words in the foyer of the mansion coming back to her and causing a lump to rise in her throat.

Her heart ached at the memory. Regardless of the circumstances, the truth of his words had been written all over his face. She’d given him an out; a chance to take it all back and tell her once and for all it had only been a ruse, but he hadn’t. He’d listened to her ramble and smiled sadly at her and it made her heart break.

Knowing what your heart felt and being able and ready to accept and take that step into those feelings were two very different things.

As she watched Oliver sleep, she couldn’t help her mind wandering to what it would be like if they could simply be together without the threat of danger or the obvious baggage that plagued him keeping them apart.

A sound so desperate rose in her throat and tumbled from her lips that once it escaped into the air, she clamped her mouth shut, the feeling in her chest so full of longing she could barely breath.

At the noise, Oliver stirred, body tensing as his eyes snapped opened and his gaze landed on her. Tears filled her eyes and she held her breath as they stared at each other, neither moving nor speaking but an entire conversation taking place between them.

It wasn’t until she felt the soft and reassuring sensation of his fingers moving over her skin that she realized at some point in the night, his hand hand found her leg, as if he needed to somehow touch her to make sure she was still there.

His thumb moved in slow circles along her calf and the sensations that it caused to travel through her made her heart race.

As if realizing this, his fingers abruptly stilled but his hand remained until she reached down and covered it with her own, twining their fingers together and holding on tight.

The soft din of the television was the only sound in the room, and it wasn’t until a news flash sounded and the words “Starling City” caught their attention that they looked away from each other.

Felicity stared in horror at the pictures that scrolled across the screen; the city in various stages of ruin, much like it had been after the Undertaking. This time, however, it was more widespread. Slade’s army hadn’t solely focused their attention on one spot - they had spread out and taken on the whole city.

Her stomach churned as they showed people waiting outside of the hospital which apparently also had been damaged and had lost power in the melee. The back-up generators were working but severe cases were being airlifted out of the city.

Felicity felt Oliver’s grip tighten in hers and she let out a choked sob, as she turned to see the conflicted look on his face.

Guilt flashed in his eyes and she tugged on his hand until his gaze fell away from the screen and back to her.

“This is not your fault,” she stated with determination, “You didn’t do this so don’t even start down that road. Slade did this. And we stopped him and now we are going to help rebuild the city once again.”

Forcing the words out of her mouth brought her a sense of peace as if saying them aloud helped her believe them. Starling City had proved to be resilient before; and this time they’d have the Arrow in the aftermath.

Oliver’s jaw twitched as he held her gaze until finally his head dipped in acknowledgement and she gave him the best encouraging smile she could muster.

“We should head to the Foundry and see what we can salvage and then go find out more about your place,” he murmured after a few moments, scrubbing his free hand over his face.

She nodded, relief filling her to hear him making a plan and focusing on the next steps.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” he said a few moments later, shifting forward on the couch.

Sliding her hand from his, Felicity drew her hands to the edges of the hoodie he’d given her the night before and wrapped it further around her. “I think I will too…”

His eyes darkened slightly when he turned his head to look at her, gaze dropping to her hands and then back to her face. Her cheeks warmed as she realized he was reacting to the her grip on his hoodie. She almost began to take it off to give back when he stood in one fluid motion. He gave her one more long look before he turned and headed for his room, leaving her staring after him, her emotions once again in overdrive as she watched him disappear.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry that this update has taken so long. I have gone over and over this chapter and reread it so many times it all started to blur together so I'm posting it. Thank you so much for the feedback and response to the first chapter! You guys are so wonderful!
> 
> As always, I LOVE to hear what you think so please let me know! I have much more to tell with this story so I hope you'll stick around for the rest of it! 
> 
> Thanks so much!

Standing, she headed for the bathroom and made quick work of a shower, not letting herself linger too long even though the luxurious spray made it hard to leave.

When she stepped back into her room, toweling off her hair as she headed for the closet, she could still hear the water running from Oliver’s bathroom.

Five minutes later, she had found a pair of Thea’s old yoga pants and a t-shirt and she had pulled her hair up into a ponytail. Without her hair dryer, her natural curls were already setting in and she knew she’d need it out of her face.

Grabbing the hoodie Oliver had given her the night before, she shrugged it on, unconsciously inhaling and letting his scent wrap around her before heading back to the couch.

Images of the destruction in Starling City were still splashed across the television, reporters speaking from various places around the city.

Out of habit, she reached next to her for her tablet and then remembered that she didn’t have it or her phone which had been lost and destroyed sometime during the fight with Slade. A wave of panic hit her hard at not having either of them with her - their connection to Digg and the outside world as well as any of their “Arrow” servers. 

She was halfway off the couch when she heard a name that made her freeze, her eyes flying to the screen as the news anchor spoke about those injured in the fights.

“Detective Quentin Lance, who helped lead the efforts against the army of masked assailants, is still hospitalized in Central City with severe injuries from that night. His specific condition is unknown at this time.”

“Oliver!” she cried, her fingers itching to have her tablet and, instead, twisting together in her lap as she sank back down against the cushions. 

He was in front of her within seconds, sweat pants slung low on his waist, hair still damp, his eyes wild as he searched the room and then stared down at her, confusion and concern furrowing his brow.

Standing, she swallowed around the lump that had formed in her throat, eyes still focused on the screen as they continued to talk about Detective Lance. 

“He’s in the hospital in critical condition, Oliver,” she said, breathlessly, “I thought he was fine. He was going to see Sara off with Laurel and he seemed fine...and I don’t have my tablet or my phone...neither do you...I can’t find out anything else…”

Frustration swelled within her as she was unable to do anything but feel helpless. She couldn’t contact anyone or look up any information. In the midst of making sure Slade got back to the island where he would be housed and then returning to Starling City, things like cell phones and tablets had been an after thought. When they were on the island and traveling, she’d used Digg’s phone knowing that she wouldn’t be able to get a new one until they were back in the city. But then last night, they’d been so tired and her apartment had been blocked off which had thrown everything into another tailspin. 

Before Oliver could reply, there was a knock on the door to the room. Oliver reacted on instinct, immediately placing Felicity behind him as he turned, shoulders tensed, his frame becoming the sharp weapon he’d honed it to be for all those years.

Her fingers dug into the warm flesh of his back, her face inches from the tanned skin. Her thumb grazed over the dragon tattoo along with one of his scars unconsciously as she braced for whatever attack might be coming at them.

She felt Oliver relax slightly and she peeked around his arm to find Diggle standing in the doorway, his hands raised in mock surrender. He lifted his eyebrows in silent question, holding a box in one hand and his gun in the other. 

Felicity let out the breath she didn't realize she’d been holding and slowly let her fingers slide off of Oliver’s back. She pretended not to notice the way his muscles flexed beneath her touch, making her want to repeat the motion.

“It’s just me…” Diggle stated a beat later, tucking his gun back into his side holster.

“Oh,” Felicity breathed, and gave him a soft smile. “I thought you were with Lyla this morning?”

“She was called in for a debriefing. We’re meeting back up in the afternoon. I got worried when both of the texts I sent to you guys came back undeliverable. It didn’t take long to put two and two together,” he added as he entered the room and held the box out to Felicity.

She knew what it was before she opened the lid. Their extra burner phones. With a wide smile, she leaned up on tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek before opening it and finding two of the devices they kept in stock for emergencies.

Walking back over to the couch, she quickly began to boot them up and went about downloading their secured backed-up information from the cloud which she’d encrypted herself.

It didn’t take her long before she had both phones syncing as they downloaded their information - contacts and all the programs she’d developed and designed for them to use.

“I tried your apartment first,” Diggle stated, and Felicity’s eyes flew to his and she saw the unspoken question. “It doesn’t look good on your street…”

“Yeah,” she swallowed, “they wouldn't even let me in to get anything last night. Oliver offered to let me stay here…”

Diggle nodded and she felt Oliver watching the exchange carefully.

She could tell Diggle wanted to ask more but refrained, instead, turning his gaze to Oliver. “I haven’t heard from Roy so I thought I’d go check on him if you guys are good here.”

Oliver nodded and she watched as they had a silent conversation before Diggle turned to leave. “I’ll text you when I find him.”

“Thank you,” Oliver told him and, then sending her one more look, Diggle disappeared around the corner.

Felicity stood from the couch, as the news continued to play in the background, walking to Oliver with the phone she’d programmed as his own in her out-stretched hand.

He looked at the device with a furrowed brow as he took it from her. “It should be all up to date,” she told him. “Thank goodness for the cloud and being able to back things up. Otherwise my job would be a lot harder…”

Oliver raised his head and gave her an appreciative smile. 

Clearing her throat, she motioned to the television. “You should call her…”

She watched realization dawn in his eyes as they widened and then the flash of guilt that followed. Her hand fell to his forearm briefly, her fingertips grazing his skin slightly, before she turned and walked back towards the bathroom giving him some privacy.

Since she had no make-up, she simply brushed her teeth with the extra wrapped toothbrush she found in the drawer, and ran a hand through her already curling locks, smoothing out the strands that were beginning to frizz at the top of her head. She waited a few more minutes and then headed back into the main room.

Oliver paced by the large windows, his hand running over his head in a sign of frustration as he spoke into the phone.

Grabbing her own phone off the bed where she’d laid it, she quickly thumbed it on and began reading through the latest headlines and scrolling through the trackings she had on any articles that mentioned ‘The Hood’ or ‘The Arrow.’ 

She felt the moment his eyes landed on her, and her head flew up to meet his gaze as he spoke. Sadness filtered through his stormy blue eyes and her brow wrinkled in concern.

“We’ll see what we can do,” he said into the phone and Felicity’s head immediately began to race until it dawned on her what Laurel wanted.

A pang of regret traveled through her because even as she pulled up the tracking app she had designed, she knew that the likelihood of them being able to find Sara was close to zero.

“Let us know if we can do anything else,” Oliver replied and then ended the call.

She waited with baited breath for Lance’s condition - her stomach twisting in angry knots at the prospect of how bad he could be hurt.

“Internal bleeding,” Oliver ground out, answering her unasked question about the detective. “He hasn’t woken up yet, and the next 24 hours are critical, but as long as he does wake up, he should make a full recovery.” 

He sighed before he continued, rubbing his temples with his free hand. “ Laurel’s mother is there…They decided to move him to Central City when the hospital here stopped taking trauma patients...”

Felicity closed her eyes, tears pressing against her eyelids as she fought for control. Detective Lance had come to mean a lot to her in the days following the Undertaking. They had come to an understanding and she had watched with pride as he and Oliver had come to an understanding about The Arrow. She needed him to be okay.

“She asked about Sara,” Oliver added, his voice worn and weary and she blinked open her eyes as she swallowed around the lump in her throat.

Biting down on her lower lip, she met his gaze. “Her burner phone is deactivated and there’s no trace of her on any of the searches so far…”

Oliver sighed with a nod, and she knew it was exactly what he expected. They both had known that when Sara signed back on with the League, she wouldn’t be able to be found.

“She’s a ghost again, isn’t she?” Felicity whispered sadly.

As much as she’d disagreed with some of Sara’s tactics, she’d seen the good in the woman. In the short time she’d been with the team, she’d become her friend - she’d miss her.

Oliver sighed and nodded as he walked over to the couch and sank down into the cushions next to her. “I know it was her choice, but she did it to help me...to help defeat Slade. She signed away her life again…”

“And that was her decision,” Felicity cut him off fiercely, her head swiveling towards him. “She made that call. It was her choice. Don’t take on burdens that aren’t yours to carry, Oliver.”

Her last sentence came out as more of a plea than she meant it to, but she couldn't bear to see him carrying around any more weight on his shoulders. He was a good man; a man who continually put his life on the line for this city and those he loved. She would not let him take on burdens that were not his to bear.

He met her gaze with an inscrutable look, and she knew he was letting her words sink in and battling the other half of his brain that automatically assumed responsibility for everything that went wrong around him.

Finally, his head dipped and she saw him nod imperceptibly. Her lips tipped upwards and she released a breath she didn't know she’d been holding.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, he stood, putting Felicity eye level with the low-slung sweat pants he’d worn to bed. Her eyes trailed over the defined ridge of muscle that traveled inwards and beneath the waistband. She swallowed, quickly diverting her gaze when she felt a noise of desire working it’s way up her throat and threatening to escape her lips.

She wasn’t expecting the light touch of his fingers to the side of her head, near the cut she’d gotten when the van they’d been in had flipped two nights ago. 

“Does it hurt?” he asked softly, and she let her eyes fall shut as she tried to find her voice, lost in the sensations his touch was causing to rise within her.

“A little, but not too bad,” she replied hoarsely as his calloused fingertips trailed over her hair and then glided along the side of her cheek. Her head tilted into his touch and he gently ran his thumb along her cheekbone before letting it fall back to his side.

The shaky breath she heard him release let her know she wasn’t the only one fighting a battle at the moment and she took some comfort in that.

“Let me go find something to wear and then we can see about food and your apartment,” he stated, and she could only nod her head as she swallowed and opened her eyes, pretended to become engrossed in whatever search she’d pulled up on her phone. She knew if she met his gaze now, she’d be lost to everything she was feeling.

When he’d disappeared out of the room, she let out a breath and buried her head in her hands, trying to get her traitorous thoughts and hormones under control.

Her emotions were fraying at the edges. As much as they’d come to a silent agreement about their feelings and everything going on between them, she couldn’t stop her attraction to him. Knowing that they were at somewhat of a standstill, it was harder than ever to be so close to him physically without her body betraying her.

She felt more connected to him now than ever and it was both pain and pleasure because for as much as she wanted to reach out and grasp on to what was growing between them, she knew for now, she couldn’t.

His feelings were real. He’d admitted that much to her from their interactions on the island and then last night in the foyer. She’d seen the truth in his eyes the second the words had left his lips, and yet there was so much going on; so much to still be sorted out and an entire city that needed their help. Feelings and desires and dreams had to be pushed aside for the moment.

They needed each other more than ever and she knew that no matter what, she couldn’t lose him and she’d seen in his eyes that the same was true for him.

Wiping away the few tears that had rolled down her cheeks, she stood, grasping her phone. Unsure of how long it had been since he’d left, she started for the door to the hallway, wondering if she should go look for him.

She saw the jacket she’d been wearing the night before hanging over a chair by the door and grabbed it. With more regret than she wanted to dwell on at the moment, she slipped Oliver’s hoodie off her shoulders and put on her coat.

Stepping out into the large hallway, she looked both directions down the long, daunting hallway. Finally, she turned right recalling which way they’d come from last night.

When she reached the door to his room, she found it standing open and immediately recognized the dark colors and large bed. Her gaze traveled around the room as she stepped inside, Oliver’s scent surrounding her and leaving her with a sense of safety.

“Oliver?” she called out, walking further into the large room.

“In the bathroom,” he answered from behind one of the many doors, “Be out in a minute.”

“Okay,” she replied as she saw the pictures on his dresser and walked over to it, her fingers reaching out and touching a picture of a very young and mischievous boy holding a baby girl, who had to be Thea.

Her heart ached for the innocence staring back at her in that photograph. Oliver looked so proud to be a big brother and as she swept her eyes across the dresser and the few other pictures adorning the surface, she saw the two Queen siblings grow up before her eyes.  
The wide smile of Tommy Merlyn greeted her a few photos over - arm slung around Oliver’s shoulders, both of them in graduation gowns. Sadness filled her as she looked at the picture, and remembering the broken voice of Oliver over the comms as he begged Tommy to live. Blinking away the tears that sprung to her eyes, she bit down on her lower lip and took a deep breath continuing down the line of pictures.

A white envelope with “Mr. Oliver” scrawled across it drew her attention. The careful, simple script caused her to frown. Cautiously, she picked it up and turned it over, finding it still sealed.

The sound of the bathroom door opening pulled her attention towards the sound. Oliver appeared, a grey pullover and dark jeans clinging to his well-built frame, and her eyes washed over him appreciatively. 

When he saw her and the letter in her hand, his brow furrowed, expression immediately turning to confusion. “What is that?” he asked, walking over towards her.

“I don’t know,” she breathed, “I...I was just looking at the pictures and it was propped up between them on your dresser...it has your name on it…”

Felicity held out the envelope so he could see and she watched as he froze the second his eyes landed on the handwriting. 

His expression instantly softened and a sad smile rose on his lips. Quickly, yet gently, he took the envelope from her hands and tore it open, pulling out the crisp piece of white paper.

She waited as he read it, amazed at the emotion she could see crossing his face. 

When he had finished, he let out a heavy breath, blinking his eyes as he handed it to her.

“It’s from Raisa,” he told her sadly. “She’s been our maid for as long as I can remember. She was my nanny and one of the few people who always believed I was a good person.”

Taking the note, she read it to herself, tears blurring her vision at times. By the end, she knew that this woman loved Oliver, and that despite everything that had happened in this house, she had always been in his corner.

“When we closed up the house after mother…” Oliver swallowed and took a deep breath before continuing, “I made sure she had enough to get back to go live with her daughter if that’s what she wanted…”

His voice trailed off and he looked away as he tried to gather his composure. Felicity folded the note back up and placed it in the envelope once more before reaching over and grasping Oliver’s hand.

At her touch, his eyes snapped back to hers and he glanced down at their intertwined fingers. With a rush of air, he squeezed her hand as his mouth curved into a smile of thanks.

Once again she found herself getting lost in Oliver’s eyes, everything they had and hadn’t said floating between them. 

It was the beep of her phone that finally made her look away. Handing the envelope back to Oliver, she reached for her phone that she’d put in her back pocket and read a text from Digg.

Found Roy. He’s okay, but being stubborn.

She relayed the message to Oliver who sighed, his jaw tightening. “Tell him to meet us at the lair in an hour,” Oliver said and Felicity nodded typing out the message and hitting send.

When she glanced back at Oliver, she saw that his expression had changed into one he wore whenever he was thinking. His brows drawn together as he stared at the wall behind them.

Drawing in a shaky breath, she voiced the question that had been floating around in her head all morning. “What are we going to do about the city? The company?”

She knew from the immediate fall of his shoulders that he’d been thinking the exact same thing.

“I don’t know,” he gritted out, turning frustrated eyes on her, his expression falling and a look of hopelessness taking over once more. “I don’t know where to even start.”

Immediately, Felicity was in front of him, one hand finding his forearm. “We’ll figure it out. Together. We’ll figure it out like we always do.”

She gave him a tentative smile, one in which he eventually returned before she continued. “But before we get into all of that, can we possibly get breakfast...and coffee? I’m going to need coffee if we are plotting and planning…”

His smile widened and he gave a short laugh that was one of her favorite sounds as he nodded. “Yeah. That sounds like a good first step. I think we still have a coffee maker that no one has violently destroyed…”

“Destroyed is such a strong word,” she admonished, her cheeks flushing slightly at the memory of that conversation in his office which seemed so long ago - almost a different lifetime.

“So is violently,” he countered, leading her out of his room and back to the main staircase, “But that didn’t stop you from using it or from it being true.”

She winced thinking about the fact that she had pulled a few wires and made sure the coffee pot was inoperable that day. Although, she had ordered them a Keurig and made sure he knew how to work it after that.

Twenty minutes later, they were back in the car and headed for the city, coffee in cup holders between them.

It took them longer than usual to reach Verdant, many streets blocked because of debris or damage to the roads. Oliver’s knuckles grew whiter as they drove, the damage Slade’s men had caused to the city more and more evident. People wandered the streets looking lost, huddled together in groups as they tried to come to terms with what had happened.

At one point, they passed the streets they’d traveled in the van as they’d fled from Slade’s men. Felicity shuddered as she recalled the moment the van went airborne and then she’d known nothing but darkness until she’d woken in Oliver’s arms.

She’d remember the fear in his eyes as he gazed down at her for the rest of her life. The look of absolute concern and then the relief that spread to every facet of his face when she whispered his name.

He’d closed his eyes briefly, his gait only hesitating slightly before he continued, refusing to let her down until she insisted she could walk.

The abrasion on her head still ached intermittently and she caught Oliver staring at it every now and then; the emotions running through his eyes making her want to reach out and comfort him every time she caught him looking at it.

It wasn’t until she felt the car pull to a stop that she realized they’d finally reached Verdant. With a sharp inhale, she shook off the remnants of her wandering thoughts and turned to find Oliver watching her closely.

She gave him what she hoped was a convincing smile before reaching for the door handle, but she could tell he knew what she’d been thinking about and she wasn’t the only one still affected by those memories.

He hovered at her back, eyes glancing furtively around as they walked to the now-deserted club. The door was still latched and she took that as a good sign as she tentatively punched in their code, wondering if it was even still secure from the last time they’d been there to find it ransacked.

When the keypad beeped, she almost jumped as she heard the lock open. Oliver reached around her as she released the breath she’d been holding and opened the door, leading her inside with the hand on the small of her back.

Darkness greeted them and she blindly searched for the small light switch at the top of the stairs. She found it quickly, flipping it on and it bathed them in a greenish glow, lighting the metal staircase.

Felicity immediately started for the stairs, but Oliver’s hand clamped down on her shoulder, his other at her waist and she had a brief flashback to a similar moment only a few weeks earlier. Turning her head to the side, she caught his gaze, blue eyes darting from her to the dark space below. 

It dawned on her then that he didn’t know what awaited them at the bottom of the stairs and her heart lurched in her chest at the realization that the place that once had been their safe haven had been compromised to the point where they expected danger whenever they entered it.

She felt the tension flowing from Oliver; the set of his shoulders and set of his jaw reminded her of when he put on the mask and she knew he was preparing himself for anything.

Placing himself in front of her, he slowly began descending the stairs and she followed closely at his back. 

When they reached the bottom, Felicity shadowed him until they found the breaker and flipped it. Blue light flickered on around them, lighting all the darkened corners of the foundry.

Felicity swallowed around the lump in her throat as she took in the destruction around her. It looked the same as it had when they’d returned the night they’d defeated Slade when they’d been looking for the syringe arrows. But now that she actually had time to take it all in, it was overwhelming.

She’d worked so hard to rebuild this place after the Undertaking, spending months designing and re-furnishing it with the best gadgets and technology she could find or build.

Looking around at the upended tables, broken monitors laying on the hard concrete, medical supplies strewn across the ground, and Oliver’s arrows scattered all over, tears pressed against the back of her eyes, blurring her vision.

A hand flew to her mouth to stop the sob from escaping as she scanned the room, her eyes searching for the servers.

She practically ran to them, thankful she had spent the money a few months earlier to surround them with a steel box, securing them as best she could from any kind of attack.

When she opened the door to the box, she breathed out a sigh of relief at seeing them intact. Her fingers ran over the edges and planes as if caressing a prized possession.

“The servers and the back-ups look okay,” she finally stated, standing and turning to find Oliver staring at her with an unreadable look on his face.

The small uptick of his lips surprised her and her heart fluttered in her chest at the gesture. 

Looking around she surveyed the rest of the damage, “The monitors weren’t so lucky…”

Her voice trailed off as her eyes landed on her up-ended chair, her place in the foundry. 

Oliver’s hand at her elbow made her look up to find him right next to her, blue eyes looking at her in concern.

“We can’t stay here, can we?” she sighed in a small, sad voice.

With a sigh, he shook his head. “It’s been compromised. Too many people know about it and I don’t even technically own the building anymore…”

Taking a deep breath, Felicity nodded her head, trying not to let her emotions about leaving this place she’d started to home get the best of her. 

With a false smile, she turned to him and asked, “Where? The place we found you?”

His eyes searched hers briefly before he nodded his head and she inhaled, centering herself before she bit her lip and looked around before her eyes landed on the object she’d been so proud to keep the last time she’d had to rebuild.

She felt Oliver shift next to her and knew he’d followed her gaze.

“You can take that apart to move it, right?” she asked with a soft yet strained voice.

The sound of his soft chuckle next to her caused her to turn to look at him in surprise, her cheeks flushing lightly.

For the first time in days, a tiny light danced in his eyes as a hint of a smile appeared. 

He leaned towards her, his mouth close to her ear and whispered. “Don’t worry. It’s coming too.”

Her eyes fluttered shut and she couldn’t help the warmth that spread throughout her as he stepped past her, his hand trailing down the underside of her arm until he was out of reach. The tingles from his touch stayed with her long after he’d crossed the room and started to collect all the arrows he could find off the floor. 

It wasn’t until she started towards him to help that she realized she was smiling as well.

The sound of the door beeping sprung them both into action; Oliver moving back towards her, putting her behind him as he grabbed an arrow that lay on the floor. Felicity clutched an arrow in her own fist, ready to use it if necessary. 

Footsteps clanked down the metal staircase and it wasn’t until Diggle’s large form came into view with Roy trailing reluctantly after him that Oliver relaxed his grip on the arrow.

Diggle raised his hands in a motion of surrender and Oliver let his hand fall back to his side with a long exhale.

“This place is still a mess,” Roy commented, and Felicity saw Oliver throw him an exasperated look.

Diggle rolled his eyes and crossed over to where Oliver and she stood. “Anything look like it is missing?” he asked, surveying the place.

Felicity shook her head. “It’s hard to tell but the servers are still here and operable as well as the 3D printer - thank goodness. That cost half of the money Oliver left us...I don’t know about the weapons or anything else…”

“We have to get it all out of here,” Oliver interrupted as her voice trailed off. “The Guard will be coming through and checking every building for casualties or survivors. We need to make sure this place is clean when they do get here.”

Diggle looked back and forth between the two of them as if realizing the underlying meaning of Oliver’s words.

“The other place…” Diggle said, with resignation as if he too was sad to have to leave.

“We can’t stay here,” Oliver said through gritted teeth. “Too many people know about this place now and since it’s no longer technically mine, anyone could do a sweep or check of the building. It’s not secure.”

The older man gave a quick nod, placing his hands on his hips as he turned in a half circle. “This might take awhile.”

“We don’t have too long,” Roy piped up then, popping up behind Diggle. “Search and recovery crews are only a few blocks out.”

Oliver sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Then we move fast.”

“Lyla might be able to help,” Digg said, “In the mean time, we should get the servers and anything with information on it out of here as soon as possible.”

“We can do it now if you can give me a hand,” she said, looking at the men in front of her and Oliver nodded quickly as did Roy.

“I’ll be right there,” Diggle called as he put the phone up to his ear.

As she led Oliver and Roy over to the servers, stepping carefully over the debris-ridden floor, she asked Roy about what he knew.

“People are scared, but there’s not as much destruction as last time,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders as the words ‘last time’ echoed around all of them and she shuddered. “No one is really in charge. The police are still trying to regroup but with no mayor and no chief of police...it’s a mess.”

Felicity closed her eyes and sighed, flashes of the city a year ago after the Undertaking running through her mind. This city was resilient but she knew the uphill battle before them.

“I found Sin and she’s staying with me for now since the Clock Tower was destroyed,” he added and Felicity smiled at him knowing Sara would appreciate knowing that the younger girl was okay. 

Sara had shared that story with her before she’d left, asking Felicity to keep an eye on her as best she could through whatever means possible. Felicity had promised to do her best, her heart going out to the girl who’d lost so much so young. 

She felt Oliver’s gaze on her and glanced over at him to find him asking her a silent question. She smiled and shook her head, telling him she’d explain it later.

Diggle appeared with the message that Lyla could help with getting the other location ready and set up with a security door. Felicity wasn’t sure she trusted ARGUS and knew she’d do her own set up once they were settled in to the new place.

It took them almost an hour, but eventually they had all the servers disconnected and ready to be transported. Not wanting to leave them there, Felicity had them loaded into the back of the car so that she and Oliver could take them.

Soon after, Diggle received a call from Lyla and Oliver told him to go, that they would talk later and Roy followed, after a brief conversation with Oliver. 

Felicity watched for a moment as the two men shook hands. She looked away as Roy clambered up the stairs, glancing down at her feet. Bending down, she picked up a few of the arrows from the floor near her chair. 

Her fingers ran over the dark green fletching, thoughts interrupted by a familiar, deep voice.

She lifted her head to find Oliver kneeling in front of her, his fingers gently closing over hers on the arrows. Letting them slip from her grip, he took them with one hand while clasping her now empty fingers with his other. 

“Let’s go see about your place,” he said softly, eyes filled with emotions she was surprised to find she couldn't quite read. 

When she nodded, he stood, pulling her with him and depositing the arrows on the nearest surface. It wasn’t until they were half way up the stairs that she realized his hand was still wrapped around her own, the weight of his calloused fingers against her own comforting and natural. Something wrapped around her heart - a fierce want and need and ache - words floating in her head once more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Hey everyone! Thank you so much for all your support! This is one of my favorite chapters and I hope you like it too! There is a lot more olicity in this and they get closer to talking about the things they haven't been saying.
> 
> As always, I would LOVE to hear what you think!!! Thank you so much for all of you who read, comment and leave kudos. It means a lot to me!

Oliver led her to the car, his hand at her back as he opened the door and she could still feel the warmth of his touch after he’d closed the door and climbed into the driver’s seat.

The ride to her place was spent in comfortable silence, neither needing to fill it with unnecessary talk. As they neared her street, the barricade came into view, the same army vehicles parked next to the entrance. Her stomach twisted into knots at the sight of her neighborhood looking like a ghost town. An ominous feeling filled her as Oliver put the car in park and rounded the car to stand next to her

A different uniformed officer greeted them, this one a bit older than the last but he looked just as tired.

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” he addressed her. “All the buildings on this half of the street have been determined to be structurally damaged. The landlords have been notified and all persons are to be moved from the houses by sundown on Saturday.”

Felicity heard a dull buzzing start in her ears. The words bounced around in her head; her breaths coming short and staccato from her lungs. 

Structurally unsound. All persons moved. Saturday.

Despite the fact that she didn’t spend as much time there as she used to due to her extra-curricular activities, it was still the only residence she had. With no job and no steady income, there’s no way she’d be able to find another place to live in such a short time. 

All of these things rushed through her head, the buzzing growing louder until she couldn’t hear anything but her own heartbeat in her ears and the dull roar of the blood rushing through her veins.

It was Oliver’s voice that broke through the din, her hand reaching out blindly towards the sound and finding him, clamping down on his forearm as she pulled deep breaths into her lungs.

“Can we get some of her things now and come back later for the rest?” he asked with a calm voice.

“Of course,” the officer’s voice sounded distant but sympathetic and she turned her head to see the man looking at her in concern.

Familiar calloused fingers closed over her own and she gasped, her eyes flying to Oliver's face and finding him staring at her, guilt swimming through his gaze that disappeared as he blinked.

Silently he asked her if she was okay; if she was ready to do this. Taking a deep breath, she nodded and swallowed, turning back towards the officer.

“I’m sorry...thank you for your help. This is all just a bit overwhelming…” she trailed off at the catch in her throat. 

As she spoke the words, the last few days events rushed around her, crowding into her head, but she pushed them away, knowing now was not the place or the time to deal with them. 

Squeezing Oliver’s hand, she drew strength from him and breathed out a shaky exhale.

“Come on,” Oliver murmured, leading her passed the barricade and on to the street - _her_ street.

The walk to her townhouse wasn’t far, and her hands shook as she tried to get the key in the lock. She was thankful when Oliver didn’t intervene, instinctively knowing she needed to do even this simple task to help calm her frazzled thoughts.

Once they were inside, the familiar scent of her condo washed over her and she sighed. It had been days since she’d been here and, while everything was in the same place she left it, so much had changed. The last time she’d stood in her foyer seemed like a lifetime ago.

Out of habit, she dropped her keys into the bowl by the door. Her eyes darted around, making mental lists in her head of everything she needed to gather. Where she would put all of her furniture and all of her stuff added an extra bundle of worries. 

She was trying to figure out where to start when she felt Oliver’s hand on her shoulder. His light touch caused her to shut her eyes, reveling in the comfort that simple action gave her. When she opened them again, Oliver was in front of her, blue eyes staring at her with such concern it took her breath away.

“Hey,” he whispered, thumb ghosting over her collarbone and causing a shiver of pleasure to run down her spine. “It’s going to be okay.”

She knew he meant the words to be comforting, but all they did was bring all her questions and concerns to mind and before she could stop them they were all tumbling out.

“How can you say that?” she cried. “I have no place to go. I have no job. No income. I won’t be able to find another apartment or townhouse without a job - they’d never let me sign a lease. I have savings, but they will only go so far. The hotels will be booked and the prices outrageous and not to mention where I’m going to store all of my stuff…”

Her breaths came out in short pants as she trailed off. Oliver’s fingers squeezed her shoulder gently, his other hand running up her other arm.

“Hey,” his voice was soft yet firm and her eyes immediately snapped to his. “You have a place to stay for as long as you need it. We’ll figure it out. I promise…”

His words mixed with the sincerity in his gaze calmed her. A lump rose in her throat as she blinked back tears. “Thank you,” she whispered hoarsely.

With a soft sigh, an apology written in his eyes, he tugged her forward into his chest as his arms surrounded her, wrapping her in a cocoon of safety. Her glasses pressed against her face but she didn’t care, needing his touch and embrace. She sighed into his shirt, her fingers finding the edges of his pullover and twisting in the fabric as she turned her face towards his neck.

She felt him shift, his hands running up and down her back stilling as she blew out a breath. For a moment, they both froze, an undercurrent of something so sharp and needy running through them that she knew if either of them moved it would end in something they weren’t ready for at that moment.

After a few seconds, she inhaled and the action seemed to release the tension in his own body. His hands started moving again over her back and she felt him tilt his head down and press a kiss against the top of her hair.

She wanted to stay wrapped in his arms forever, but she knew she needed to move or she might never. They only had a little bit of time to pack what she needed before they came back the next day to get the rest of her stuff. She still wondered where they would put it. Would Oliver let her store it at his house? Not that it wasn’t big enough, but that was almost like her moving in and she wasn’t sure she was ready to see her things in Oliver’s house...

Wiping away her few errant tears, she gave him a soft smile which he returned. “Thank you,” she murmured and he simply nodded, his eyes answering her in one look.

_Always._

She hurried around her townhouse, picking up every electronic and computer device she could find and placing them in the large, open suitcase she’d found stuffed in her hallway closet; carefully stacking them to minimize any damage during transport. Oliver handed her things but let her do the actual arranging, and she couldn’t help smile at the fact that he knew she’d want to do it herself.

After the last item was safely tucked away, she stood and flipped over the lid, zipping it up as she tucked a few stray strands of her blonde hair behind her ears.

She gave one more glance around her living room before turning and heading for the bedroom. 

Pulling out an over-sized duffle bag from her closet, she turned and wasn’t surprised to find Oliver had followed her. He stepped into the room, and she saw his eyes dart about taking in everything including the windows and all exits. 

She tried not to think about how many times she had imagined him in her room; her heart speeding up at the thought as she fought the blush that rose to her cheeks. It had been those long five months when he’d returned to the island that she’d longed for him to come tapping on her window or show up on her doorstep the most. He turned up in her dreams more often than not; each time he felt farther and farther away until one morning she woke up with tears in her eyes and she realized she hadn’t been able to find him in her dreams.

It was that day that she’s started to search for him; deciding that it had been long enough. The city needed him; the company needed him; they needed him...she...she needed him.

Swallowing hard, she tried to push those thoughts to the back of her mind as she quickly stuffed her underwear and bras into the bottom of the bag, her back to Oliver. Shutting those drawers, she started back to the closet, trying to hold the bag in one hand as she rummaged with the other.

She felt him before she saw him. His scent enveloping her and she felt his hand touch her shoulder gently.

Swiveling around, she was surprised when she came face to face with his chest. He was closer than she thought and she had to crane her next to look up at him. He held out his hands and she realized after a beat that he was offering to hold the bag. She gave him a thankful smile before handing over the duffle and turning back to her closet.

A few dresses and skirts went into the bag, knowing she’d have to iron them afterwards, but not caring for the moment. Jeans, sweats, and her favorite MIT sweatshirt followed suit. She packed as much as she could into the duffle, knowing they’d have to come back in the next two days to get the rest of her things.

After deciding she’d picked out enough clothes for now, she turned around, noticing that Oliver had stepped over to the edge of her bed to wait for her as she glanced about the room.

Her eyes landed on her sleep shorts and the grey men’s t-shirt she’d made a habit of wearing to bed. Sweeping them up in her hands, she quickly stuffed them in the side of the bag, cheeks slightly flushed.

She heard Oliver let out a breath and her eyes darted up to meet his of their own accord. The unasked question flew through his eyes and she smiled hesitantly. 

“When you leave for five months, your clothes become free game,” she replied,her throat dry as she tried for levity, shrugging her shoulders.

He blinked at her as if not expecting that reply. His body tensed and she could see the conflict darken his blue eyes.

She sighed, her shoulders deflating as she felt the words; truths she wanted to tell him working their way up her throat and out of her mouth.

“I didn’t realize how much you’d become a part of my life until you were gone,” she confessed quietly, her hands rubbing together in front of her before she clasped them tightly. “I don’t let a lot of people that far into my life...it’s just easier not too...not that I don’t care about people or am not friendly, I just try not to get attached. I guess it all started with my dad leaving...but I didn’t expect you and Digg. And it was hard…so I took the shirts when we found them because I missed you...”

At the familiar glimpse of sadness and guilt that flashed through his eyes, she shook her head as she leveled him with a knowing look, “I’m not telling you this for you to add it to your mountain of guilt that you carry around along with your arrows.”

The soft huff and self-depreciating tilt to his lips let her know she’d been right about the path his thoughts had taken.

“I just...I wanted to tell you. Because you are important to me…” Her voice trailed off, getting softer until she practically breathed out the last word.

She stared up at him, blue eyes meeting blue and for a moment she was once again transported back to the mansion that night when those three words filled the space between them and she felt them fill her lungs until she had to break away from his gaze.

Her eyes dropped but when he took a step forwards, the duffle placed on the bed beside them, his hand reaching out to trail up her arm to her shoulder, she let her eyes drift back to him. She took in the lines and contours of his face, the day old stubble before finally meeting his gaze once more.

The genuine emotion staring back at her made her stomach flip and her heart beat faster, all her senses tunnelling down to the warmth of his fingers on her shoulder and the way his eyes held hers with an intensity she couldn’t ignore.

“I didn’t expect you either,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. 

She smiled softly up at him, tears blurring her vision and she tried to blink them away. 

“I missed you too,” he continued after a beat, his thumb trailing over her collarbone and sending a delicious shiver through her body. “When I saw you and Digg on the island, I thought I was dreaming again…”

 _Again._  
  
The word rattled around in her head, implications clear. She inhaled sharply, eyes widening as she took in his confession and then a soft smile of understanding lifted on her lips. 

She felt the relieved breath he released against her skin and her eyes fluttered shut. For a few moments, they stayed that way, his hand on her shoulder, their bodies inches apart, feelings becoming even more intertwined.

When she felt the cool press of his lips against her forehead, her eyes fluttered open and she gazed up at him in wonder.

Giving her shoulder a soft squeeze, he let his hand fall back to his side as she took a deep breath. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as the feel of his lips against her skin lingered until she’d finished packing and they both stood next to her door, bags in hand.

It wouldn’t be easy to move; to start over in a new space somewhere else. She felt safe and secure here which were two things that she knew were important, especially after she started working with Oliver and Digg. But she would survive this change just as she had all the rest she’d faced in her life.

Gathering her emotions, she exhaled and then stepped through the door Oliver held open for her.

She locked up behind herself, and as they made their way down the street back to the car, she couldn’t help but let her thoughts wander to what the future would hold for her.

So much was changing. Not only was her job status up in the air, but the team was moving to a new lair and she had to find a new place to live. In addition, her relationship with Oliver was in a holding pattern to something more. Something she both wanted and feared at the same time. Her heart longed for something her head was still having trouble processing. Everything they had was so important to her. She couldn’t lose that; she couldn’t lose him. 

And yet she wanted that next step. When they were ready, when they were both ready to take that step. She wanted it all. With _him_.

The feel of Oliver’s arm brushing her caused her to break out of those thoughts and she noticed that he was sending her a questioning look, asking her if she was okay.

With a deep breath, she realized that through all the changes a few things had stayed the same. The people in her life - those who meant the most to her - were still there. Oliver and Digg weren’t going anywhere. Roy was still around and while they might be in a different space, they were still a team - still a family.

Nodding, she hurried to help open the doors to the back seat since the trunk was currently full of the servers from the foundry.

“I think this one weighs more than the one with your clothes,” he said with a grunt as he slid the suitcase with all of the electronics along the seat.

She sent him a knowing look, her eyebrow cocked in response. When he let out a soft huff of laughter, her lips pulled up at the edges and a bit of the worry eased from her bones.

No matter what, she had Oliver and Digg and that meant more to her than words could say.

“Thank you,” she murmured, as she finished buckling her seatbelt. “For the place to stay...I don’t know what I would have done if….”

The hand covering hers halted her words and her eyes flew to his, a look of understanding in his softened gaze.

“After everything you’ve given up for me, everything you’ve done,” his voice was strained and she saw as he fought to find the right words. “Whatever you need…”

She raised her free hand to push her glasses up her nose and nodded her head, a smile on her lips.

She wasn’t expecting him to continue, or for the next words that came out of his mouth which transported her back in time.

“I need to know you’re safe,” he said softly. “This makes it easier…”

The breath left her lungs as those familiar words washed over her and she could tell by the surprised look on his face that he hadn’t realized it until they were out in the open. 

Swallowing in her suddenly dry throat, she watched as his eyes darkened and then softened at the same time; pleading with her to understand so many things he didn’t know how to put into words just yet.

Her hand turned in his and gripped it tightly, their palms meeting and his skin left tingles where it touched.

Her gaze fell to their intertwined hands and the bright colors of her nails against his tan skin. For the briefest of moments, she imagined being able to hold his hand whenever she wanted to - out in public where people didn’t see them as simply an ex-CEO and his EA, at a restaurant, or walking through the park or in bed.

The knot that formed in her chest tightened and she sucked in a breath, that ache in her growing for all the things she suddenly wanted so desperately with the man beside her.

It was the stillness that surrounded them in the car that caused her eyes to find his once more. Words passed between them without voice and it filled her heart with a glimmer of hope.

Felicity insisted they find food on the way home, and Oliver drove them to Big Belly Burger. She went in after their orders while he waited in the car, not wanting to leave the car parked with everything stashed in it. It was one to have servers in the trunk where no one could see them and park it for a short amount of time near heavily guarded streets, it was another to leave it unattended in a parking lot near the Glades.

When they arrived back at the mansion, Oliver helped her unload her bags and then the servers. She questioned the safety of having them at his place but he quickly assured her they would be safer in his father’s old safe than anywhere else. He still had a security system around the place and despite there being no guards, they were safer here than most any place in the city. Despite her recent bout with Slade Wilson in these very halls, she didn’t doubt his word. 

As Oliver carried her bags, Felicity followed him with their dinner as they climbed the large staircase up to the adjoined rooms they’d taken residence in the previous night. Felicity briefly wondered if he’d go back to his old room, but quickly remembered the stricken look on his face when he’d entered. Too many memories filled that space; ones that only reminded him of everything he’d lost. She knew eventually he might make his way back there, but it wouldn't be any time soon. And maybe that was for the better. A fresh start and new memories in this house might be what he needed.

Once they reached their rooms, he set the suitcase with her computers near a table in the corner and the duffle bag that held her clothes next to the closet. Felicity crossed the room, letting her jacket fall to one of the chairs as she passed, heading for the couch as she quickly set down the carrier with their drinks and the bag full of food. 

Hastily she dug into the bags, her stomach rumbling as she realized she hadn’t eaten properly since breakfast.

Oliver followed her after a moment, plopping down onto the other side of the couch, hands running through his hair. Short strands stuck out in random directions as he shrugged off his black leather jacket and sank back into the cushions.

Silently, she laid out his burger and fries in front of him, nudging the drink closer to his side of the coffee table. 

With a sigh, he stared at the food, and she could see the moment he withdrew completely into his thoughts and memories. She watched him for a moment, aching for him as the play of pain and sadness streaked across his face.

“Oliver,” she stated softly, hoping her voice alone would bring him back to her. She tilted her head to the side to regard him as she watched him closely. “You need to eat…” 

His eyes flicked to hers, a frown creasing his brow before it quickly disappeared and he realized where he was once more. He glanced down at the burger and she heard his stomach growl.

“I know you can’t turn down a big belly burger,” she added, softly teasing him, her lips curving upwards. “I’ve seen you and Digg inhale food from this place and then try to steal mine.”

A hint of smile passed his lips, and the knot that had formed in her chest eased, warmth flowing through her when he let out a tiny huff of laughter and reached for the sandwich.

Oliver finished his burger before her and she gave him a knowing look as he crumpled up the wrapper and tossed it in the empty bag. He grabbed a few fries and watched her as she finished the last few bites of her burger.

Her skin prickled as she felt the heat of his gaze and after placing her own wrapper in the bag, she tucked her feet up under her and turned towards him, taking a sip of her soda.

Their eyes met and a spark ran through her body at the depth of emotions that were visible as he stared at her.

Before she could react, he’d reached out a hand and lifted it to her lips. Her heart hammered in her chest as his thumb gently grazed her upper lip. The rest of his fingers propped under her chin and sweeping down. She fought the urge to turn into his touch, remembering the way his rough skin had felt on her cheek that night she’d taken a bullet for Sara. The breath left her lungs as she stilled the same moment he did.

His eyes flashed with an emotion she couldn’t quite catch and then darkened when her tongue came out and licked over the spot he’d just touched, wanting to make sure there was nothing left of whatever had been there.

The air around them seemed to crackle with tension, both of them knowing how close they were to that edge where they could so easily just fall into each other; changing things forever.

Her eyes were glued to his, reveling in the emotions swimming deep within their depths. Knowing she wasn’t the only one struggling with her feelings - that he too was trying to figure out where they stood after everything - helped. But her heart still ached. 

A part of her wanted to say something - anything - so they could move forward from this standstill. But she wasn’t sure what to say or how to start or even what they were ready for. All she knew for certain was that her feelings were true and that she needed him in her life.

She saw him open his mouth as if to say something, his eyes trailing over her face before finding her gaze once more. He looked so bereft; so scared of the magnitude of the moment that she wanted to reach out and take his hand, reassure him - reassure them both - that they everything would be okay.

Slowly, he let his hand fall back to his lap and she released the breath she’d been holding. The tension ebbed from the room and she watched as his gaze fell to his hands and then to hers she’d clasped them around her legs, holding tight to her arms. 

A deep yearning raced through her heart as she watched his eyes close and then reopen, shifting so they gazed out the tall windows behind her. She let her eyes trail over his face, following the defined set of his jaw down his neck to the slopes of his broad shoulders. The pullover fit his frame well and she saw the play of muscles beneath as exhaled, sinking further back into the cushions.

Laying her head on the pillow behind her, she reached for the remote that still lay on the sofa from that morning. Flicking on the television, she searched - scrolling past images of Starling City and talk of destruction - until she found something they both could watch.

Moments later, she felt a light weight on her legs and looked down to see the grey hoodie from this morning covering her. She must have left it hanging over the back of the couch. She didn’t say anything. Instead, she pulled it further up until she could tuck her arms beneath it.

Her eyelids grew heavy quickly, and it wasn’t until she felt herself being lifted that she realized she had fallen asleep.

Mumbling softly, she sighed and turned her face into the warmth at her side. The steady movement hesitated for a moment and then continued, hushed whispers soothing her sleepy questions. Seconds later, she felt herself being lowered, the familiar warmth around her moving away. 

Her eyes fluttered open at the loss and she frowned until she saw Oliver hovering over her. Gently, he reached down and removed her glasses, fingertips brushing the sides of her face and she sighed contentedly. 

“Oliver…” she breathed and his eyes instantly found hers, causing some of the sleep to be shaken from her at the stark blue staring back. Butterflies erupted in her stomach as the warmth and haze of sleep still clung to her, trying to call her back, despite her desire to stay in this moment.

She watched him through heavy-lidded eyes as he gave her a soft smile, so open and honest, she physically ached. He moved before she could react to what she was seeing and feeling; her reactions slowed.

Covers being placed over her had her blinking open her eyes once more as she realized she’d shut them at some point. As he began to turn away, she finally got her hand to move, reaching out heavily and finding his forearm.

His muscles tensed and then shifted under her fingertips as he turned and leaned down so he was once again closer to her.

She regarded him, words getting stuck in her throat. She watched as her hand reached up to trail lightly through his rough stubble, a featherlight touch against the pads of her fingers. She felt him still beneath her hand; watched as his eyes fluttered closed and she felt him shift almost imperceptibly towards her hand. 

A thousand different things ran through her mind, each one of them truths that she’d wanted to speak aloud to him for so long.

His gaze had softened even more when he opened his eyes again, her hand falling back to his forearm and he slid his arm out so his fingers could tangle with hers.

She held onto him tightly and swallowed, finally speaking the only words she could work past her lips.

“Thank you,” she murmured, blinking slowly and almost missing the play of emotions across his own face.

Wonder and guilt washed over him. His jaw tightened as he reined in his everything he was feeling and tried to bottle it up and if she were more awake, she would call him on it, but she felt sleep pulling her back under.

“Night, Felicity,” she heard him breathe close to her ear when her eyes became too heavy to hold open. 

She thought she heard a few more words in his deep familiar voice, but she couldn’t understand them. However, as they slowly sank into her skin, she felt the warmth and longing with which they were said and that bit of hope deep inside her continued to grow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** I was so blown away by the response to the last chapter! Thank you so much for your love and support for this story! We're getting to some of the stuff I know you've been waiting for! 
> 
> Huge thanks to anthfan for reading this over and all the encouragement!
> 
> I'm so excited to hear what you think! As always I love to read your comments and thoughts! 
> 
> (Replies to comments you left me on the last chapter are coming tonight!)

Her dreams were comforting and happy, bright colors surrounding her as she worked alongside Oliver in the Foundry. She was at her computers, pulling up the latest intel on a criminal they were tracking and Oliver was a few feet away, training on the mats. It was normal, safe, comforting...

Until it suddenly became dark, a cold wind shifting through the lair and she spun in her chair, panic rising. She reached for Oliver who was starting towards her but she was jerked backwards, knife pulled to her throat as her hair was yanked backwards. Visions of The Count flew through her mind; icy gloved fingers running over her skin and through her ponytail until the room around her shifted and suddenly she was in the foyer of the Queen mansion.

Slade’s deep accented voice whispered harshly in her ear. “I’ve got you now. No use fighting it, love. Oliver will watch you die…”

His words sent shivers up her spine and she whimpered, knowing the plan in her head but it did nothing to stop the spike of absolute fear that tore through her when suddenly Oliver was standing in front of her. His mask was off, hood down, bow at his side.

Before she could blink, Slade was in front of him, her arms and feet immobile, held still by an unseen force. 

The cry left her lips the second the blade pierced him, her hands reached out, tears streaming down her face.

“Please, no,” she sobbed, suddenly released as she collapsed on her knees by him, his blood covering her hands as she tried to put pressure on the wound.

Blue eyes stared unseeing at her as she grasped his face, pleading with him to stay with her. 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Slade’s cold voice echoed around her in the unbearable silence only permeated by her cries. “You failed.”

“No!” she screamed, the pressure in her chest growing until she couldn’t breathe.

Gasping, she sat up, hands and feet kicking out at as she tried to escape the darkness surrounding her. Before she could untwist her legs from whatever was wrapped around them, she ran into something solid in front of her. 

Her hands pushed at it, shaking her head as she let out another gasping sob, “No, please...Oliver…”

“Shh...I’m here.”

It was his voice that pulled her back from the terrors that threatened to overtake her mind; breaking through the storms of her nightmares.

Her eyes flew open, and she could feel the wetness streaking down her cheeks. Blinking, the last haze of her dream dissipated and she realized the something hard she’d run into was Oliver.

The air swiftly left her lungs. Her hands immediately reaching out to him; finding the warm skin of his shoulders and then his chest. She felt the rough pads of his fingers against her cheeks, bracketing her face, thumbs wiping away the tears still falling down unchecked. 

Over the blood thrumming through her ears, she heard him softly hush her as he tipped her face up so she could see him. Through damp lashes, she found him watching her with a mix of horror and guilt, worry penetrating the deepest part of his gaze.

A moment later, she realized his mouth was moving, but she couldn’t make out the words over the pounding in her head as flashes of her nightmare came back to her. 

Oliver dying in front of her eyes, over and over. Because of her. Because she’d failed. 

“Hey,” he breathed, face suddenly inches from hers, making her focus. “Felicity, look at me.” 

Her eyes flew back to his, tears still running in rivers down her cheeks as she tried to pull in breath after breath. 

“You didn’t fail. I’m right here,” he shushed her, voice so soft and gentle. “You’re safe.”

Her eyes slipped shut at that, letting his words wash over her. 

She felt his thumbs brushing over her cheeks before she let herself fall forward into his arms when he tugged lightly. His hands slipped into her hair and through the long strands down to her back as he whispered soothing words into her ear.

The gentle thrum of his heartbeat beneath her other ear helped calm her as she tried to match her breathing to his own.

His lips pressed lightly against her hair and he tightened his hold on her as her body shook and trembled.

It all could have gone wrong. She could have lost him. It could have all been her fault. 

As much as she knew he would never want her to blame herself for anything that happened to him, she knew she would have in this situation. Just the thought of losing him at all brought an ache to her chest that wouldn’t go away.

His breath ghosted over her ear as he continued his whispered words of comfort. She found comfort in the warmth of his flesh beneath her fingertips, her cheek pressed over his heart - feeling and hearing the life inside him.

She released a ragged breath, turning her head slightly. Her lips trailed over his skin and she felt him still, the steady thrum of his heartbeat rise. Her hands flexed against his back and the movement caused him to sink forward as she tucked herself further into his embrace.

A long, deep sigh escaped his lips, rustling her hair as he buried his nose against her neck.

Time seemed to slow as they stayed wrapped around each other; neither wanting to move from the embrace. 

Felicity eventually felt her heart rate return to normal, the nightmares fading into the darkness as she found herself half sprawled in Oliver’s lap.

She let her eyes flutter closed and just breathed in the moment. Peace and contentment surrounded her and she wanted nothing more than to be able to stay like this, knowing it would somehow help fight off the terrors that lurked in the shadows of her dreams.

Oliver seemed in no hurry to let her go, and she was grateful. The look in his eyes told her that she’d been talking during her nightmare and that he’d heard most of it. She wondered how much he had figured out, but with the guilt and pain etched into his deep blue eyes, she could guess it was more than she would have liked.

She didn’t need him feeling guilty for her nightmares; for things that never happened.

When she felt Oliver shift beneath her, she waited reluctantly for him to pull away and leave her to another sleepless night. 

But instead of releasing her, he simply scooted to the side, bringing her with him as he turned and leaned himself against the headboard.

She swallowed thickly as he positioned himself, his arms loosening enough for her to get comfortable as well. Without hesitation, she tucked her head back into the juncture between his neck and shoulder and released a puff of air.

One of his hands came up and stroked gently over her head, and down through the strands of her hair. His touch quickly erased the memories of Slade and his men holding her by her ponytail and she closed her eyes and relished his gentleness.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly, his voice rumbling hoarsely from deep in his chest.

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut, trying to shut off the flash of scenes parading themselves through her mind as a shiver traveled down her spine. Swallowing again, she bit down on her bottom lip, knowing it would probably help to talk about it but not wanting Oliver to blame himself any more than he already did.

Finally, she spoke, her voice barely a whisper in the dark room. “I failed,” she breathed, sob making her voice catch.

Oliver’s head turned into hers and she felt him press his forehead against her hair. “You didn’t. You’re safe. I’m safe…”

Felicity could only nod her head as she pulled her legs closer to her body, her knees brushing against his thighs as she did. Gently, Oliver reached down with one hand and pulled the comforter up over her before returning to his task of trailing soft patterns against her back.

The sound of his heart beneath her ear and his hands at her back soothed her and she relaxed further against him, reveling in his touch and closeness.

It had been so long since she'd simply been held. She hugged people; short and brief touches that didn't last for more than a few seconds. But this was different. Lying with someone, limbs entangled, counting their breaths and heartbeats was something she'd missed. 

It hit her then how intimate this interaction was between her and Oliver. With everything still undecided and undiscussed between them, lying here in his arms caused that longing to return. 

She wanted this every night. She wanted him next to her, holding her, lying with her until they fell asleep after a long day and even longer night. She wanted mornings of waking up with her head pillowed on his chest or his arm thrown over her waist; to learn he was a cover hog or that he snored when he was on his back. She wanted to know all of these things. She wanted it all.

To want that and know that they were still at that stand still - undecided - in so many things was almost unbearable.

She suddenly felt restless as if being this close to him, knowing all of this was too much. And yet it wasn't enough.

Without realizing it, her fingers had begun to trace circles over his skin, moving from scar tissue to unmarred skin with ease; knowing it was all a part of the man she loved.

Loved.

She did love him. So much.

Her hand stilled and she drew in a shaky breath. Somehow the air around them had shifted and she knew Oliver could feel it too. She wondered briefly if he was thinking the same thing she was or if he could just feel her thoughts churning inside her head. Either way, she knew she had to speak - had to say something.

"Oliver..."

Her voice faded, lump rising in her throat as she fought through the emotions swirling within her; the tidal wave of everything threatening to engulf her completely.

One of his hands shifted from her back to catch hers that lay against his chest. He wrapped his large calloused fingers around hers and squeezed them tight, a spark sending heat racing through her at his touch. 

"I know..."

His voice was strained, rough and deep with so much emotion she fought the urge to lean back and look at him. She knew if she did, there would be no turning back. They were both so close to that edge - one move and they'd fall over it together.

Seconds turned into minutes and neither of them moved or spoke.

It was Oliver who finally broke the silence.

"We're going to talk, Felicity...I promise," he whispered throatily against her hair, his lips brushing the shell of her ear and causing a shudder to run through her body. The way he said her name, slow and rough, drawing out the syllables was enough to make her core clench with desire. Instinctively her body reacted, pushing closer to him.

He sucked in a deep breath when her hips met his beneath the covers and a growl rumbled from low in his chest.

Her fingers flexed against his and she exhaled against his skin.

"Sor..." she began to apologize, but he hushed her, squeezing her fingers.

"Sleep, Felicity..." he whispered instead, his voice still low and gravelly, body tense beneath her.

"Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly, not wanting him to leave but also not wanting to make this harder for either of them.

"I'm where I want to be..." He replied softly, sighing, relaxing some of his tense muscles, his head coming to rest against her hair. "Unless you want me to go..."

"No," she said a little too quickly and felt her cheeks heat as she repositioned her head. "Please..."

"Sleep," he repeated, his fingers ghosting up and down her arm.

"As long as you do too," she replied, tired eyes already beginning to droop.

She heard his grunt of approval and it was enough for her. With the sound of his heartbeat echoing in her ears, she drifted off to sleep, not afraid of any nightmares that would come because he was by her side.

A ray of sunlight streaming through the thick curtains woke her. She blinked open bleary eyes, arching her back to stretch and found her pillow grunt and shift beneath her head. 

Felicity stilled, memories of last night coming back to her. Her fingers shifted gently against the warm skin as she shut her eyes and let herself take in the moment of waking up in Oliver’s arms.

One of his hands rested on her back, the other low on her hip. She realized belatedly she was half sprawled on top of him, and a flush painted her cheeks as realized she’d pushed herself into him when she’d woken.

She considered removing herself from his arms, unsure of what his reaction would be when he did wake up. After all, they still hadn’t had that discussion that was becoming more and more pressing with each passing day. But then she remembered the way he’d held her last night; the way he’d stayed with her - wanted to stay with her; and the way his voice had sounded when he’d promised her they would talk. 

So instead of trying to move away from him, she let herself relax back against him.

Careful not to wake him, she lifted her head and propped her chin on his chest, eyes landing on his face as he still slept. His head rested on one of the plush pillows, listing slightly to one side. He looked at peace and so much younger in his sleep. The weariness and shadows that clung to him dissipated and all that was left was the young man underneath.

He’d been through so much. His body was proof of that - littered with scars and memories of some of his darkest times. And yet he was still fighting those shadows to break through and find the light - the hero inside him. She knew it wasn’t easy for him, and she wished she could take even a fraction of his burdens. 

His chest rose and fell gently with each breath, her head moving along with it. Leaning down, she pressed her nose against his skin, skimming it over the Bratva tattoo that was inked into the skin over his heart.

When he still didn’t show signs of waking, she let her lips brush across his heated flesh as she breathed him in. 

His hand tightened on her hip and she froze, lifting her eyes to his face and watching him.

After a few moments, laid her head back over his heart and shut her eyes. She let herself get lost in the feeling of being pressed up against him, wrapped up in each other’s arms. Safety and warmth surrounded her and she couldn’t deny how much she desperately wanted this every day of her life.

She could hear every beat of his heart, feel the warmth of his skin beneath her cheek, his scent surrounding her. All memories of her nightmares were temporarily forgotten as she realized she’d slept through the night with him by her side.

She wasn’t sure how long it was until he began to stir, but she felt him shift, fingers flexing at her hip. 

He hummed, a low rumble that emanated from deep in his chest. Heat pooled low in her stomach at the sound and her body reacted involuntarily.

The hand resting on her back moved, trailing over her hair with such tenderness she couldn’t help burrowing herself further against him.

The pads of his fingertips feathered over her cheek as she pushed strands of hair away from her cheek and she released a breath.

“Morning,” he rasped, sleep clinging to his voice and making it deeper than normal.

She smiled, wondering how long he’d know she’d been awake.

Shifting her head so it rested on his shoulder, she gazed up at him, surprised by the stark need and wonder staring back at her.

“Morning,” she breathed, his fingers rubbing circles against her shoulder.

“No more nightmares?” he asked, even though he would have known if she’d had them.

“No,” she replied, “Thank you.”

He sat up then, causing her to move as well, disappointment filling her as she had to lift her head from his shoulder.

One of his hands cupped her jaw, thumb brushing against her cheek. “You have nothing to apologize for,” he told her with so much tenderness that tears filled her eyes. Smiling, she let her head lean against his hand, turning into it as they both breathed in the moment.

The warm press of lips to her temple caused her to open her eyes and found him closer than he’d been before - eyes searching hers, holding them as together they both held their breaths. 

His gaze fell to her lips and she ached deep inside to close that gap, answering the question of what it would feel like to kiss him and be kissed by him.

The sharp sound of Oliver’s phone ringing from the other room caused them both to jump apart, Felicity sucking in a deep breath as she pushed back, trying to regain her composure.

She heard Oliver mutter something under his breath as he climbed from bed so gracefully, Felicity found herself watching him until he disappeared into the other room. 

As the soft sound of his voice drifted through the open door, she sank back into the place he’d vacated in the bed. It still smelled like him, his warmth seeping into her skin.

She let her eyes slip shut and must have dozed off because the next thing she knew, Oliver was standing over her, a grey t-shirt joining his sweatpants.

His hand stilled on her shoulder as she mumbled his name. 

“Digg’s going to meet us at the Foundry at 11,” he told her softly. “I also got a call from one of my father’s old business partners who’s now on the board of executives at QC.”

She sat up then, suddenly very alert, raking a hand through her knotty hair. “What did he want?” she asked in apprehension.

“Just to talk,” he sighed, “Things are rough over there right now and while I don’t think I’m their first choice for CEO again, this is a start…”

Felicity nodded, giving him an encouraging smile. “You just have to win back their trust, Oliver. They want what is best for the company, so prove that you are what’s best for it.”

He sighed heavily, rubbing both of his hands over his face. “I don’t know that I am what’s best for it.”

Felicity reached out, her hand landing on his forearm, “Is this what you want? To get the company back?”

It was a question she hadn’t honestly asked him yet, and she wondered if this was something he felt he had to do or if it was something he actually wanted.

Drawing in a deep breath, he sank onto the bed beside her. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can be the Arrow and CEO of QC…”

“You can,” she stated with conviction. “You were doing it before…”

“Not very well,” he retorted with a wry grin. “Without you I never would have survived.”

Those words held meaning in both aspects of his life and he didn’t seem to realize it until they were out of his mouth. His gaze found hers and said what he couldn’t with words.

Her fingers tightened on his arm, “Well, you still have me,” she finally replied, voice thick with emotion. “I’m not going anywhere.”

His hand covered hers as his eyes slipped shut and a short-stilted breath escaped his lips. “Then, yes, I think it’s what I want...I want to use QC to help the city...only legally.”

The small wink he gave her caused sparks of heat to fly through her and she couldn’t stop the grin that spread to her lips.

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” she stated, turning her hand to link their fingers together. 

Her stomach rumbling interrupted the silence that had settled around them, air thickening once again. Oliver chuckled and stood, patting her knee as he did. 

“Let’s find you food and coffee,” he said as he held out his hand towards her.

She took it easily as he helped her from the bed, and didn’t let go until they reached the kitchen.

After breakfast, Felicity took her coffee out to the back where she'd seen gardens beyond the pool. Felicity skimmed her fingers along the stone-hewn walls surrounding the large open patio and deck. 

Looking up, past the gardens that extended a few acres into the property, she saw a hill. Two lone markers stood upon that hill and she furrowed her brow.

Glancing back towards the door, she saw Oliver still on the phone, trying to talk to one of his father's old friends and business partners about working his way back into the company. It was the first step and contact he'd made with any of the Executive Board members since he'd basically signed over the company to Isabel. She could tell it was something he weighed in his head - the pros and cons of returning to CEO status and yet still being The Arrow at night. In the long run, she knew that he wanted back into the company that bore his family's name. He needed to right that wrong and Felicity would back him the whole way.

His eyes met hers briefly and she nodded her head towards the gardens and he smiled before turning back to his conversation.

Coffee cup in hand, she stepped into the stone pathway through the gardens. While some areas had become slightly overgrown - a sight she knew Moira Queen would have been appalled at - most of it still looked good. She knew that without the staff to do the work, these gardens would probably become remnants of a past life.

Every once in awhile, she'd stop to admire a particular rose or flower that caught her interest. Moira Queen obviously held her gardner's to high standards. There were more types and varieties of flowers than she had ever seen before in one place.

A large fountain sat somewhere in the middle of the gardens. With the water shut off, it was now more of a statue standing sentry. The sight of it made her heart ache for some reason. She briefly imagined what this house and gardens had looked like when Oliver and Thea were little. She wondered how many dinner parties their parent's threw and could picture the entire back area filled with guests and dressed to the nines. Of course, she knew once Oliver got older, this backyard became known for much more than the elegant dinner parties of his parents. The pool and courtyard - according to police record - had been the site of many of Oliver and Tommy's wilder parties many of which earned them some citations over the years.

Felicity shook her head, a smile pulling at her lips as she continued walking passed the fountain and into the back half of the gardens. It was strange to sometimes remember that the Oliver she knew and the one she'd read about were one in the same. He'd been that party and playboy of old. But he'd had to grow up fast and hard when the Queen's Gambit had gone down. And he'd be the first to tell people now that the man he was then wasn't really a man at all.

Those five years had honed him into a man who held on to his humanity and his sanity by threads and a heart that she saw more and more was filled with love and a light that still remained. That light had been slowly dimmed during those years - oxygen pulled from it with every death, every loss, every encounter that left him more broken than he was before. But it had survived. He had survived and sometimes she caught him looking off in the distance and she wondered how many times he wished he hadn't.

A lump rose in her throat as that thought flashed through her mind. Tears pressed at the back of her eyelids as she squeezed them shut to ward off the rush of emotions.

Taking a deep breath, she continued on, reminding herself that he had survived and the man who'd come out of that crucible was a man she loved more than she'd ever imagined.

At the edge of the gardens, she stepped off into the unmown grass and headed for the small hill in the distance.

The closer she came to the two markers a cold dread began to knot in her stomach. The realization of what they were hit her twenty feet away and her step faltered as she drew in a gasping breath.

A cold sweat settled on her brow and she almost dropped her coffee as she squinted into the distance.

They were two large gravestones. The same color and stature, obviously placed there at the same time.

Her footsteps felt heavy as if her feet were made of led as she closed the remaining distance. 

The moment the names came into view, she froze. Her eyes traced over the familiar name carved into the granite - a name for a man she'd seen die in her dreams over and over since that night with Slade.

It was too much. Seeing an actual headstone with his name on it brought all of those images rushing back through her head.

A loud sound left her throat and she felt her knees buckle as she sank to the ground. The coffee cup fell from her fingertips, splashing it's remnants onto the grass at her knees.

With watery eyes she read the name and dates and simple engraved words underneath.

_His light was dimmed too soon._

Her chest tightened as a few tears fell from her eyes; the words causing the breath the rush from her lips.

His light. 

She still saw that light. Knew it was there from the second he'd stepped into her office with a bullet-hole infested laptop. The way he smiled at her- his eyes sprung to life and she caught a glimpse of something pure and unsullied by those five years. At that time she didn't understand the significance of it, but the more she learned about his time on the island and now off the island, she realized how amazing it was for him to still have any hope left inside him.

But he did.

It was hidden, buried under years of heartache and pain. That light deep in his soul had been dimmed, starved and beaten, but still it remained.

And it was the part of him that she knew was making him into the hero and man he was today.

But all of that could have been lost. How many times had he almost died? How many times had she almost lost him in the time she'd known him? How many times had this stone almost become real...once and for all.

Too many.

And those moments weren't going to stop. She could lose him at any time and if she did that and never got the chance to tell him how much she loved him; never got the chance to be with him - that would be worse than anything.

She wasn't sure how long she stayed there, her eyes tracing the rock hewn with his name. It could have been hours.

But it wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she startled and looked up into the deeply concerned eyes of Oliver.

She opened her mouth to speak but just seeing him after staring at his gravestone for so long was overwhelming and she simply closed her mouth again, pressing her lips tightly together.

She suddenly had the need to be in his arms, feel the strength surrounding her to make sure he was in fact alive and in front of her.

On shaky legs, she stood, his hand cupping her elbow as she did, but before he could say anything she turned, rising on her tiptoes, and threw her arms around his neck.

The second his arms closed around her waist, she breathed out a sigh of relief, sagging against him. Burying her face in his chest, she felt her shoulders shake once, twice, three times before she managed to get control of her emotions.

Oliver whispered words of comfort in her ear.

"I could have lost you..." she finally breathed, angling her head up into the juncture of his neck and shoulder. "So many times, I could have lost you and never knew you..."

Oliver tensed, finally understanding why she was so upset and, as if he was realizing their truth for the first time, he held her tighter, pulling her flush against him, her toes leaving the ground. She felt him turn his face into her hair and dug her fingers into the planes of his back, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

After a few seconds, he gently eased her back, looking down into her eyes. With a sweep of his fingers, he wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. One of his arms remained at her back, his hand at her hip as he stared down at her, eyes drinking her in and she doing the same.

Something had shifted around them in that moment and she turned her body towards his, letting her head come to rest on his shoulder as they stared at the graves.

"My father's real grave is on the island..." Oliver began so softly his voice was almost carried away on the gentle breeze before she could hear it. "I dug it with my own hands..."

Her stomach lurched, heart breaking at his words. He'd been alone with his dead father on a boat for days before he reached the island.

One of her hands found his and she twined their fingers together that rested at her hip.

"I didn't know how I was going to survive...I didn't expect to, honestly," his voice cracked and her chest tightened.

"But you did," she breathed, saying the words for both of them.

She felt him nod as he rested his forehead against her hair. "I did, and I'm still alive here because of you...I want to live because of you."

The breath caught in her throat at his words, eyes widening as her heart raced in her chest.

"Oliver..."

He lifted his head so she could lift hers and met his eyes swimming with so many emotions, but one out-shined them all.

Love.

"Oliver...I..."

The finger he placed over her lips was a surprise, and she frowned, trying to ignore the spike of heat that traveled straight to her core.

"Not here..." he breathed. 

Understanding dawned in her. This was a place of his past - for things in his past. She was his future. His eyes told her what his words weren't...that all of that would be discussed and put into words at the right time.

The thought caused joy to bubble within her and she could barely contain her smile - one that he matched and it took her breath away.

Oliver Queen smiling was one of her favorite sights and she knew she would never get over how beautiful it was or the way it made her heart soar.

They walked back to the house hand-in-hand, comfortable silence surrounding them. Once they reached the gardens, Oliver walked her through them, pointing out his mother's favorites and telling old stories from his childhood.

Felicity felt a contentment that had been missing settle over her as she listened and watched the man in front of her. There was still so much to do, but he seemed to be making peace with where he was in his life and the hero he was becoming to this city. 

When they reached the doors to the house, Oliver turned and tilted her chin up with his forefinger.

"After we get the lair stuff settled and get all your things from your townhouse, dinner's on me," he stated softly, looking at her with the smile she remembered him giving her on the island only a few days ago.

What she had said was unthinkable then had turned into something very much thinkable and she still couldn't quite believe it.

With a nod of her head, his grin widened and he pressed a kiss to her temple before standing to the side and motioning for her to enter before him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Hey everyone! I'm so so sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up! Thanks for sticking with me! It's been a crazy beginning of the month - swamped with work. 
> 
> Anyway, as I was finishing this chapter, it got to be LONG....REALLY LONG. Like 12K words long. So I'm splitting it into two chapters...I hope you guys don't mind. :) Trust me, you get the pay off in the final chapter! :D
> 
> Thanks so much for all of your support!
> 
> As always, I love to hear what you think! Let me know! :D

Oliver and Felicity quickly got ready and headed for the old Foundry. Digg and Roy were supposed to meet them there by eleven. 

Once again it took longer than normal to get to the empty parking lot of Verdant. She watched out the windows as they passed by people slowly picking up the pieces of their lives. 

Digg and Roy were already there, their voices drifting up to them as they stood at the top of the stairs.

Felicity took the stairs slowly, eyes roaming around their first home. It felt wrong somehow to leave it even though she knew they didn't have much of a choice. Her eyes scanned the entire space from the tables lined with Oliver's arrows, to her computers, the destroyed glass case that used to hold one of his many suits and then to the salmon ladder. She'd put so much time and effort into rebuilding this place after the Undertaking. It took her two months before she could even make it down the stairs and stay for longer than five minutes. So much had started here. So much had changed. So much had been won.

To leave all of that - this was their _home_.

"Hey," Oliver's soft voice reached her ears, and she felt his hand on her elbow. "Are you okay?"

She turned to him, giving him a watery smile. "I just didn't realize how much I considered this place home..."

The lump in her throat caught the last word and she had to swallow, trying to hold onto her quickly fraying emotions.

"I'm okay," she replied quickly, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes she began to turn to continue down the stairs.

But before she could, Oliver caught her arm his fingers trailing down the length to her hand and squeezing it tight.

She looked back up at him, his eyes blue pools of concern and she gave him another shaky smile, trying to convince him that she would be okay.

And she would.

"Hey, you know what they say, Felicity, a home is made up of the people inside of it, not the walls around it." Diggle's voice broke through their silent exchange and she turned her head to see him at the bottom of the stairs, black t-shirt covered in dust, smiling kindly up at her. 

Letting her hand slip from Oliver's, she continued down the steps until she stood in front of her friend.

A smile lit her face as his words sunk in and she knew he was right. Wherever they were all together would be home.

Still standing on the bottom step she flung her arms around Digg and whispered a soft thank you into his ear before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

He set her down on the other side of the stairs, and looked to find Oliver giving Digg a strange look. Her brow furrowed and she was about to say something when Digg beat her to it

"Hey boss," he smiled, giving Oliver a knowing look. She often wondered if they were able to keep anything from Diggle. She guessed not.

"We started on the clean up. The stuff that is going, we're putting in this pile near the stairs. I've got Roy in the back helping to organize the weapons so we can get them packed and out of here. Lyla called and said Waller had a safety door installed on the other property..."

Oliver reacted to that, his eyes cutting to Diggle's and Felicity could see him wondering how much he could trust the woman.

"She said she owed us...I'm sure our Felicity can make sure it's secure from everyone..." he stated, swiveling his gaze to her.

She simply nodded her head, already planning to do that as soon as she'd heard it had been installed by ARGUS. As much as they'd helped with Slade, at the end, they had been ready to level an entire city to contain him and his army and that didn't sit well with Felicity at all.

Oliver seemed to relax when he saw her nod and he gave Digg a grunt of appreciation as he headed to his workstation where all the arrows they'd picked up were piled.

Digg turned to her and raised an eyebrow as if to ask if everything was okay. She nodded, knowing it wouldn't be enough and he'd want to know more later.

"How'd things go at your townhouse?" he asked after a beat, heading over to where she sat at her destroyed computers.

Felicity closed her eyes and sighed, leaning her head back in the chair before looking back at him. She could feel Oliver's eyes on her from across the room.

"It's been condemned. Structurally unsound. I have to have everything out by Saturday. That gives me this afternoon to figure out where to put it so I can get it all out by tomorrow night. After this, Oliver and I are heading over there..."

"We'll come to," Diggle stated as Roy appeared from behind stacks of boxes. 

He furrowed his brow, slight scowl on his face, "Now what am I volunteered for?" he asked.

"Helping Felicity get her stuff out of her condemned apartment," he stated with an edge to his voice.

Roy glanced at her, the annoyance disappearing. "Oh, sorry, Blondie. Of course, I'll help. I'm sure Sin would help too if you want."

Felicity smiled at the younger man and nodded her head. "I would really appreciate it. But only if you're sure neither of you have other plans."

"Nope, besides, helping out a friend would overrule any of them anyway," he remarked, sending her a genuine smile which she returned.

"Thank you."

Felicity stood up then, squaring her shoulders. "Well then, we've only got a few hours to do as much damage to this place as possible before heading over there..."

She paused a beat, realizing what she'd said. "Not that we can do much more damage but..."

Diggle clapped a hand on her shoulder, "We got it, Felicity," he stated warmly and she shrugged.

When she turned around, she caught Oliver staring at her, a peaceful smile on his face. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she returned it before settling in to take apart what was left of her monitors.

They worked for three hours without a break, gathering most of the materials they needed and piling them into the corner.

They'd do the actual moving at night when it would be less conspicuous to those around the area. Unfortunately that meant leaving the stuff in the lair for one more day as Felicity needed to be moved. Roy assured them that the Recovery Teams were doing the residential places first and since this club had been closed, they probably wouldn't check it until the surrounded areas had been covered. Felicity had tapped into the National Guard communication and logs and kept an eye on their movement just in case. Her program was set to alert them if the club or address was mentioned.

Diggle left before everyone else, wanting to make a trip to the new place and drop off the servers now that the door had been installed. Felicity gave him detailed instructions on where to put them and how to secure the housing she’d created for them - an extra security measure since she didn’t quite trust ARGUS. If anyone tried to tamper with them externally, they’d get a nasty shock charge, and if they tried to get to them internally, they’d get a nasty virus that would piggy back their hacking code and trace their location.

After promising he’d follow the directions to a “T”, he pecked her on the cheek and told her he’d seen them at her place. Felicity told him he didn't have to come - that he could go home to Lyla but he'd simply given her a look that told her he was helping.

Roy took his bike, stopping by his place on the way to grab Sin who’d been more than eager to help out Felicity. 

Oliver and Felicity grabbed take out from the Chinese place down the road and drove to her townhouse. 

As they drove, Felicity let herself sink into the leather seats, her eyes falling shut as she felt the muscles in her shoulders protest being hunched over in the same position for so long.

There was a chance that tonight she'd be trying out that Jacuzzi in the bathroom suite.

When Oliver's hand gently closed over hers, she smiled and suddenly her thoughts were filled with the two of them in the Jacuzzi tub, Oliver's arms wrapped around her as she sat in between his legs.

Her cheeks flushed and she involuntarily squeezed his hand as her eyes flew open.

Oliver turned to look at her momentarily, a question in his eyes. Seeing her flushed cheeks, his eyes darkened at the edges and she swallowed as his thumb rubbed over her knuckles.

Warmth flooded through her body, his touch created a humming sensation on her skin that spread from her hands to the tips of her toes and lasted until they pulled to a stop in front of the barricade on her street.

The same National Guard’s man from yesterday instantly recognized them as they stepped from the car. Her eyes found the name stitched on to his uniform - O'Dell. Felicity quickly began to ramble about how they were back to get her stuff or as much of it as they could and box up the rest for the moving truck tomorrow.

Oliver’s hand slipped into hers and she slowed her speech, ending with, “Is it okay if we park a little closer?”

O'Dell eyed her and she saw his face cave and nod. “You’ll have to leave by 10PM,” he told her kindly. “That’s when my shift is over.”

Felicity beamed up at him, thanking him repeatedly for his kindness.

“I have three more friends coming to help. John Diggle, Roy Harper and his friend Sin…” she frowned momentarily, realizing she didn't’ really know Sin’s last name, and mentally making a note to ask her sometime.

“They’ll have to park back here, but I’ll send them through,” he told her and she felt the sudden urge to hug him, but resisted, instead clasping her hands in front of her.

“Thank you.” She began to turn away and then thought of something and swiveled back around.

“Do you know about any of my neighbors? The elderly couple next door - the Henderson’s? I haven’t seen them since everything happened and they’ve always been so kind to me - well, after I helped chase down their dog that ran away once. Maggie was a handful and so I started taking her with me on my runs until she got bad arthritis about six months ago and they had to put her down…but you don’t really need to know all that...”

Her voice trailed off as she realized that she’d started to babble. Drawing her brows together, she bit down on her bottom lip, taking a deep breath before speaking again.

Slight pressure on her hand had her glancing to the left where she found Oliver with a soft smile on his lips, a swirl of emotions on his eyes that momentarily took her breath away, butterflies erupting in her stomach.

Drawing in a deep breath, she turned to a clearly amused and slightly baffled O'Dell who was watching their exchange. “Have you heard anything about them?”

He smiled at her and nodded. “There was an elderly couple here the first few days gathering their belongings with a younger man and woman.”

Relief flooded through her, knowing their daughter and son-in-law had come in from the suburbs and that they were okay.

“Oh, that’s good,” she beamed up at him. “Thank you!”

Felicity turned back towards the car heading for her door, Oliver’s hand slipping from hers as he stayed to say something to him.

“You are a lucky man,” she heard from over her shoulder as she opened her door and froze, heartbeat thudding in her chest at the implications in the O'Dell's voice.

She heard a pause and felt Oliver’s gaze on her. On impulse, she turned her head, her eyes catching his and holding. He took her in, gaze softening as he mapped out her face with his eyes.

“I am.” His voice came out low and gravelly, his eyes still locked with hers, making sure she heard him.

The look he gave her sent a thrill down her spine and she was glad she was holding on to the door for support when his face broke into a grin, eyes dancing with rarely seen happiness.

She wondered if she would ever get used to Oliver Queen looking at her like that. She secretly hoped, she never would.

After parking outside her townhouse, she grabbed the bag of takeout while he held open her door. Throwing her keys in the ceramic bowl in the foyer, she led them inside as he shut the door behind them.

She tried flicking on the lights but remembered quickly that they had no electricity which meant they had until nightfall to pack most of her earthly possessions.

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, she’d stopped in the middle of her small living room at that thought.

Her eyes flitted to her full bookshelves and coffee table with piles of the latest Tech magazines. 

Oliver’s voice broke through her racing thoughts, “We’ll get it done, Felicity,” quietly reassuring her as if able to read her thoughts. “Let’s eat first.”

With a soft sigh, she nodded and led him into the small kitchen area. Placing the back on the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room, she grabbed two glasses from her cupboard and turned towards the sink. She froze with her hand outstretched quickly remembering they’d also cut the water.

“Right,” she muttered to herself, opening her refrigerator, thankful that she hadn’t spent enough time at her place in the past few weeks to even go grocery shopping.

Her eyes flew to her wine rack and landed on a bottle of red that had been a gift from a co-worker in IT over a year ago.

She grabbed it off the rack and proceeded to the bar where Oliver was currently spreading out the various cartons of food.

“All I have to offer in the way of drinks is wine,” she said, placing the bottle on the counter.

Oliver eyed the label and smiled, “Should be good,” he stated, taking the bottle from her along with the corkscrew she’d laid out. “I think we deserve some wine.”

She smiled at him and nodded, “Me too. It seems like forever since I’ve actually had a glass and relaxed.”

His brow furrowed and she immediately reached out her hand, placing it gently on his arm, “What’s wrong?”

Blue eyes flicked up to meet hers and she saw the guilt and then frustration flash through them before it was gone.

She opened her mouth to say something but he beat her to it, bending down and pressing his lips to hers in a swift but gentle kiss.

His mouth lingered against hers, the rough scrap of his stubble tickling her chin as his lips slid across hers. She opened to him, stepping up against his chest, the wine bottle pressed between them as her fingers twisted in his shirt at the waist.

When he pulled away, she was left breathless, and he brushed his lips across her forehead before leaning back.

Her eyes fluttered open and she saw him smirking proudly as he turned to open the wine, and she finally found her voice.

“Nice distraction technique,” she murmured, voice low and still affected from that kiss. “But don’t think I’ve forgotten that look, Oliver...you...”

Just then there was a knock on her door and Oliver immediately tensed. She put a hand on his arm with a soft sigh, knowing they’d have to table this conversation.

“We’re not done,” she told him evenly as she walked towards the door.

He nodded, but said nothing as he tracked her movements as she went to greet their friends. She heard the pop of the cork just before she readed the door.

Roy and Sin greeted her as she ushered them in, Diggle arriving a few minutes later. Together, they ate, squeezed around her small kitchenette bar. 

Oliver sat next to her, his thigh pressed up against hers the entire time. Her body was acutely aware of him - every shift he made was catalogued and noted in her brain. When his hand fell to her knee and ran soft circles over the material of her pants, she sucked in a deep breath and tried to focus on the story Roy was telling, but ultimately failed. Eventually, her hand snuck under the table and covered his, fingers threading together. She saw Diggle send her a knowing look and she couldn’t stop the smile that spilled onto her lips. Diggle said nothing, but she knew he saw the shift between them.

Thirty minutes later they were all hard at work. They started with her living room, quickly filling the boxes Digg had brought with all of her books and magazines. She handled any of the technology that remained - carefully packing it and setting it by the door for immediate transport.

Not for the first time, she was thankful she was not a hoarder and had fewer possessions than most. Her place wasn’t bare but it wasn’t overcrowded either, which made the process quicker than it could have been.

Taking her pictures off the wall was harder than she imagined and she swallowed a lump in her throat as she removed the last one and handed it to Oliver who placed it in one of the larger boxes.

After the last box was taped shut, she drew in a deep breath, wrapping her arms around herself as she surveyed her normally homey living room, now stark and bare. Boxes were stacked in the corners closest to the door and a top the few pieces of furniture. 

Oliver came to stand behind her, placing his hands on her shoulder. His strong fingers dug into the tense muscles of her neck, soothing her as he pressed a kiss to the top of her hair.

“What next?” His voice was soft and gentle and she was grateful that he didn’t ask if she was okay, but instead kept her moving forwards.

“My room and the guest bedroom upstairs, and then the kitchen which is a whole other beast.” Her shoulders sagged as she as she thought about all they still had to do and the dwindling light of day.

“Let’s split up then,” Digg suggested easily. “Roy, Sin, and I will get the guest bedroom while you and Oliver work on your room, then we can all tackle the kitchen.”

Felicity felt her muscles relax and sent Diggle a thankful smile, “That sounds that a good plan of attack.”

He gave her a small understanding nod before grabbing some boxes and heading for the stairs, “The one on the right?”

Felicity nodded, knowing that John knew the layout of her townhouse better than most. He’d stayed with her on and off for the two weeks after the Undertaking, worried about her safety and sleeping habits - which had been non-existent thanks to the crippling nightmares. There had been many nights spent on her couch watching various shows and movies until she drifted to sleep and he carried her to bed.

He’d become her best friend and her biggest supporter in those days and she couldn't’ imagine her life without him.

“You ready?” Oliver asked suddenly, and she jumped as he appeared with a handful of boxes.

When she turned to look at him, she noticed his furrowed brow as he watched Diggle climbing the stairs with Sin and Roy who were discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having two levels as opposed to one. She could see his mind working, trying to understand the exchange he’d just witnessed between her and Digg. 

The troubled expression on his face caused her to speak, wanting him to understand.

“John was a good friend to me after the Undertaking,” she began softly and Oliver’s eyes flew to hers, widening slightly at the mention of that word. “We kind of looked after each other for awhile. The city was a mess and we were the only two who knew the whole story. It was hard…

She swallowed, seeing Oliver’s gaze shutter as he drew in a sharp breath.

“He stayed here until it was safer for me to be alone. He was a good friend, Oliver. One of the only ones I had then who could even begin to understand what I was going through...”

She trailed off, eyes searching his as emotions long repressed flew through his gaze. He looked stricken, eyes haunted as he replayed those days and nights, and she knew the guilt that was eating him up inside once more.

Not trusting her voice, she threaded her fingers through his free hand and squeezed. Immediately, his gaze snapped back to hers - bringing him back to the present day. 

“Felicity…”

The rough and raw quality to his voice tugged at her heart and she immediately stepped forward and cupped his face, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“I’m okay,” she breathed against him. “We understood...not at first, but we got it. I don’t blame you for leaving.” 

She paused, eyes flitting to the floor momentarily before meeting his again, a knot forming in her stomach for what she was about to ask. “But...please...don’t run again…”

He pulled back sharply, staring at her with such a shocked expression she physically ached inside. “Felicity…”

He let the boxes drop to the floor as he drew out her name, a different emotion in every syllable. He reached for her, his hands grasping hers as stepped close, their bodies brushing. Her shirt rode up as she placed one hand on his chest, over his heart, and she could feel his belt buckle pushing into the skin just below her navel. The sharp contrast to her heated flesh sent a spiral of heat through her despite the gravity of the situation.

“Hey,” he whispered, fingers sliding against her cheek as he held her gaze, strong and steady. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not running again. I could never run from you...not now...not when…”

His voice trailed off, but she heard his unspoken words and her breath caught in her chest. Releasing his hand, she wound her fingers into his hair and pulled him towards her. He bent his head, meeting her in the middle and the moment their lips met a heat pulsed through her so strong, she literally ached with want. Blinding desire raced down her spine, and she suddenly couldn’t get close enough to him. She could feel her emotions mirrored in his response and suddenly it was as if a flood gate was being opened and they were tumbling through.

Her left leg rose along his and he grunted, one large palm landing on her thigh and hoisting her up as she wrapped her other leg around his waist.

She gasped into his mouth as he bit at her lips, his tongue slipping into her mouth and tangling with hers. Her hips bucked against him and he growled deep in his chest and then she felt the world tip and something soft hit her back. She felt the couch creak as he planted both hands on either side of her, and hers reached for the hem of his shirt, slipping her fingers beneath to find heated flesh.

Just as he was about to let his weight sink into her, his lips moving from her chin to her throat, they heard loud footsteps coming down the stairs. Oliver pulled back with a soft curse and she stifled a groan as she quickly sat up. Oliver stepped in front of her, half blocking her from view as she put her back to the entryway, trying to get her ragged breathing under control. 

Diggle cleared his throat and she turned, finding him giving both of them an unimpressed look and she instantly knew this hadn’t been his first time down the stairs.

“Hey Digg,” she tried for light and casual and he quirked an eyebrow.

“Maybe _I_ should help you with your room…” Diggle stated with a hint of sarcasm and her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink.

“We can handle it.” Oliver’s voice cut through the silence, hard and terse as he gave his best friend a warning glare. Digg failed to suppress a smirk as he turned back towards the stairs. 

“Daylight’s fading…” he warned and Felicity groaned softly.

Once he was out of sight, she let her head fall into her hands, trying to calm her still rapidly beating heart.

After a minute, she stood, letting out a deep breath and headed for the boxes that Oliver had dropped earlier in the heat of the moment. “Well, we better get to work…”

When she turned he was right there, invading her personal space, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity that caused her stomach to clench in anticipation.

She held her breath as he held her gaze, seconds stretching longer and longer as emotions fluttered through his eyes and they had a silent conversation only suited for each other.

Whatever was between them was reaching it’s breaking point and they needed to figure out where they stood and fast.

After a minute, Oliver closed his eyes, letting his head fall forward so it brushed against hers and let out a long halted breath through his nose.

He silently took the boxes from her hands, careful not to make contact with her skin and headed for the stairs. She followed, the feel of him pressed so intimately against her seared into her mind and she knew she would have trouble concentrating if she let her thoughts linger there for too long.

Once in her room, she glanced around at her dresser and bed and the small desk that sat in the corner. Of all the rooms in her townhouse, this had been hers. Momentos from her life were spread out all around her, picture frames and small tokens that represented something special. 

Squaring her shoulders, she bit her lip and headed for the dresser as Oliver quickly taped together one of the boxes.

A few picture frames were scattered over the top - her friends from high school and MIT graduation. Post-it’s were stuck to the side of her mirror - some with her favorite quotes and others with random bits of code she’d thought of in the middle of the night.

She felt Oliver walk up behind her, and sighed as she began to take the pictures and place them carefully in the box at their feet.

It wasn’t until she’d removed most of her jewelry that she looked up and saw it. A small picture tucked back behind the stand that held her earrings. 

A older dark-haired woman stared back at her - matching eyes boring into her and she rocked back at the quick influx of memories that hit her hard and fast - many she’d tried to forget. 

Her mother. 

It was a picture from her graduation from MIT. Her mom’s arm was wrapped around her shoulders. Her hair had been it’s natural darker blonde then - almost a sandy brown - but she wore similar square frames and a genuine smile. Her mother changed her hair monthly and the last she'd seen it was a similar shade to her own - which _almost_ had her reaching for a new dye.

With trembling fingers, she plucked the picture from the edge of the vanity mirror and brought it closer. It was the only picture she kept of her mother because it was the only time that Felicity remembered seeing pride in her mother’s eyes. She hadn’t understood why Felicity didn’t want to follow in her footsteps and be a cocktail waitress. When she’d first announced she’d wanted to go to MIT, her mother had laughed until she realized she’d been serious.

It had been a battle ever since then. 

Oliver stepped up behind her and she heard his sharp intake of breath, knew he saw the resemblance and understood the significance of the picture. 

For some reason Felicity felt the need to say it out loud despite the fact that he knew, “This is my mom…”

His hand landed on her shoulder, the gentlest of pressure, but she sank back into it.

“It’s complicated...our relationship,” she tried to explain, her words coming out haltingly - the opposite of what usually happened to her. 

She didn’t have to see Oliver to know he was nodding, his hand gliding down her shoulder to her arm. “I understand that…” he replied softly, his breath tickling the back of her neck.

She let out rueful chuckle at that, finally tearing her eyes away to turn to face him. He was close, but giving her space, a thin band of air between them. The only part of him touching her was his hand on her upper arm.

Through watery eyes, she blinked up at him and gave him a tentative smile, one that he returned. An understanding passed between them and she knew that whenever she was ready to talk about her mother - her family - he’d be there to listen.

“It’s a good thing we have our own family,” she stated, shaking her head as she placed the picture in the box beside the others.

The air shifted around them and she froze with her hand still inside the box. Her eyes went wide at the implications of her words and her gaze flew to his.

Oliver watched her with a quiet intensity and she swallowed, “Not that...not that we have a family as you and me having a family, but as the team...you guys...you are all my family…I don’t know what I would do without; any of you.”

The corners of his mouth twitched up and he nodded, “I understand,” he replied, but his voice was low and gravelly and her stomach flipped knowing he’d been affected by the idea of them having a family together.

It was the sound of the Roy’s voice echoing through the walls from the other room that caused them to move, breaking the silent intensity of the moment. Oliver stepped back as she spun around, making quick work of the rest of her jewelry and items from the top of her dresser.

The drawers were easier to pack. She started with the clothes she wouldn’t need for awhile and . finished with her underwear which she quickly shoved into the box and closed the lid. A strangled sound fell from Oliver’s lips when he caught a glimpse of the dark green lacy underwear set she’d bought on an impulse a few months ago.

Her cheeks heated as she shifted passed him, images assaulting her mind of what he would look like if she ever got the chance to wear them for him. She could feel his gaze linger on her back until she had taped up the box and set it outside the door.

When she reentered the room, he had another box open and had moved to her desk, methodically packing away the few books and cables lying on top.

While he worked on that, she started in on her closet, thankful for the moment to find her bearings in the constantly tilting world of her and Oliver. She knew they had agreed to something that morning by his gravestone but nothing had been completely settled. In her heart, she knew he had feelings for her, but what did he want to do about those feelings? He’d mentioned dinner, but was that just to finish their discussion or something more? And then there had been the touches and kisses all day and the way her stomach clenched in the most delicious ways and the way her heart sped up everytime he came near or looked at her.

They were hanging on to the precipice by their fingernails and she found she desperately wanted to just let go and fall.

An hour later, they were finished, placing her comforter and sheets in one last box. Her furniture lay barren around the room and it hurt to see it so empty and bleak.

Shaking those thoughts from her head, she headed down to the kitchen with Oliver on her heels to find Roy, Sin, and Diggle already going through her cupboards, taking out her dishes and setting them on the counter to be packed. 

Sin sat on the ground, wrapping the few dishes in paper towels and placing them carefully into one of the boxes.

She couldn’t help but smile as she watched her friends work, helping her as they joked with each other.

Oliver’s hand landed low on her back as he stepped around her and towards Digg, grabbing a box and taking her pots and pans as he handed them to him.

A lump of emotion clogged in her throat, so thankful for these people in her life - her chosen family.

When Sin glanced up at her, she blinked back her tears and sat down on the floor next to the younger girl. Sin smiled at her, and handed her a glass to wrap, an understanding expression on her face. 

They finished as the sun began to set, casting shadows and darkness across her townhouse floor. By the time they were all moving towards the door, Digg and Roy carrying a few boxes that Felicity wanted to take with her that night, Sin had to use the flashlight on her phone to guide them.

Once the boxes were packed into the back of the car and backseat, Felicity stepped up and hugged Roy and then Sin.

“Of course, blondie. Anything for you,” Sin replied, shrugging her shoulders and shoving her hands in her back pockets. 

Diggle gave her a peck on the cheek and told her to get some sleep, peering over her head to where Oliver leaned against the car behind them.

“See you both in the morning to move everything,” he added, before turning and climbing into his own car.

Felicity spun on her heel, stepping up to Oliver, and ducking her head. “Are you sure it’s okay that I store all my stuff at your place...that just seems like...a lot…”

His finger caught her chin, tilting it up as he pushed up off the car. “It’s more that okay,” he told her, his voice dipping low and she realized they were talking about more than just her stuff.

Sucking her bottom lip into her mouth, she pulled in a deep breath. Oliver’s chest expanded quickly as he reached out and swiped a thumb over her cheek, catching the corner of her lip and pulling it out. When she met his gaze once more, she gasped at how dark his eyes had become, dark swirls of desire and something more spinning around in them and making her lean into his touch.

“Thank you,” she whispered, stepping up and into his arms, pressing her face into the curve of his neck as his hands banded around her back and held her close.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, breathing together before she stepped back with a contented smile.

“Let’s go,” he mumbled against her hair, catching her hand in his and leading her around the car to the passenger side, holding the door open for her.

They waved at O’Dell as they passed the barricade and drove off into the streets of Starling City.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Thank you so much for all of your support! I'm sorry this chapter got delayed. Last week was a rough one for me in writing and my general psyche when posting stuff. Anyway, here it is, the last chapter before the epilogue! (Yes, an epilogue happened...)
> 
> I truly hope you like this one. I've gone over it so many times and it's one that is very close to my heart. PLEASE NOTE THE RATING CHANGE! 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! I'm so anxious to read your comments for it. And again, thank you SO MUCH for all your support for this story. It's one that is very close to my heart and took a lot of time and energy to right. *BIG HUGS* to all of you!

By the time they returned to the mansion, Felicity was half asleep in the passenger seat. She felt the car come to a stop and blinked open bleary eyes to find Oliver opening her door.

He leaned in, unaware that she was awake and began to unbuckle her seatbelt. 

"Hey," she whispered hoarsely when he undid the buckle.

His eyes flew up to hers and he smiled softly at her. 

"Guess I was more tired than I thought..." she sighed, closing her eyes again.

The sensation of two strong arms slipping beneath her back and under her legs as he gently lifted her caused her eyes to fly open. "Oliver..." she gasped, one arm banding around his neck. "I'm awake..."

He chuckled softly, his breath tickling her forehead. "Yeah, I saw...that's why you're eyes were closed."

She frowned at him, giving him a glare. "I was just resting them, " she protested, and he cocked an eyebrow at her.

When she realized he wasn't going to put her down, she sighed heavily and laid her head back on his shoulder, too comfortable to protest any further. Her fingers dug into the cotton of his grey t-shirt and she turned her head into the fabric and inhaled.

His scent surrounded her and she hummed happily.

"I can't imagine I smell that good," he stated, leaning down to unlock and open the door before walking them over the threshold.

"You've smelled worse," she murmured, still half-asleep.

He scoffed and she giggled, her lips pressed against the fabric of his shirt, somehow feeling like she was dreaming. As if there was no way Oliver could be carrying her inside his home, joking with her and laughing - doing things that seemed like any other normal couple would do.

But she had to remind herself that it was happening. It was all real.

"I'm sorry about dinner," Oliver replied after he'd closed the door and set the alarm, heading for the stairs.

Her eyes had drifted shut once more and she forced them open,a frown on her lips as she tilted her head to see his face. "What are you talking about? I love that Chinese place."

Oliver glanced down at her and met her gaze, eyebrows raising in disbelief. "Not exactly what I had planned for our first date. Chinese take out with Digg, Roy, and Sin."

Her jaw dropped and then she remembered their conversation this morning and she couldn't fight the wide grin that spread over her face.

"A real date?" she asked softly, "You meant that."

His eyes suddenly darkened and he came to a sudden halt at the top of the stairs, shifting her weight so he could look at her better. "Of course I meant it...I meant it all..."

Felicity shook her head, instantly very awake when she recognized the hurt look in his eyes. "No, no," she sputtered, pressing against his chest so that he would put her down - needing to see him better. 

As her feet slid to the floor, she moved her hands to his chest, gazing up at him with concern. Licking her lips, she shook her head as she tried to find the right words.

"I know you meant it," she began quickly. "I believe you. It's just...for so long..." she shook her head again, frustration mounting within her. "Well like I said back on the island, I made myself believe that it was unthinkable - that you would never see me like that or that you would never let yourself be open to it. I've wanted it for so long before I even realized I wanted it...that I wanted you. And now...now it’s happening..."

Her words hung in the air between them as she held her breath, watching him closely as he took in everything she said.

His eyes traveled over her face, tension slowly seeping out of his shoulders. His gaze soften until he was staring at her like he had that her the night of Slade's attack. Her heart skipped a beat and she found herself leaning forwards, drawn to him like she had been that night - like she was every day and every moment he was near her, looking at her with those eyes that could see through her and into her soul and make her feel things she’d never felt before.

"I wasn't open to it" he finally confessed. "Not for a long time. Everyone around me...everyone I care about just gets hurt.” He sighed, scrubbing a hand through his short hair. “But that night, I had to tell you...just in case, and once I said it...it felt right and I knew I could never take it back or tell you it wasn’t the truth because it was."

His lips tipped upwards, and she smiled back at him, tears springing to her eyes and blurring her vision. 

"I meant it. Every word. That night, this morning. I want to do this," he told her in a voice barely above a whisper, his hand reaching for hers and twining their fingers together. "I want all of it."

Joy erupted somewhere deep in her heart. That ache and longing that she'd been holding on to and hiding in a small corner of her heart melted away with the realization that she could have all of what she wanted with him. That they were both ready. That they were both willing to take that step forward.

Laughter burst up from her lungs and she couldn't contain it as she buried her head against his chest.

"Not quite the reaction I was going for," he teased softly, lips brushing over her hair as his fingers trailed along her back.

She shook her head, shifting so she was looking up at him again, a grin on her face. "I'm just happy."

His hands trailed over her hair coming to rest on her cheeks as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Me too...even after everything...with you, I’m so happy..."

She inhaled sharply at his words, knew the admission was a huge one for him - a man who thought his life after those five years would consist of nothing but pain and silence and revenge. Her eyes fluttered closed and she leaned into one of his hands, reveling in the moment and letting his words embed themselves into her heart. Letting out a contented sigh, she felt her body relax, sinking into him.

When her eyes opened, she found him staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face and she lifted up on her toes to press a kiss onto his chin. “You know you are the one who makes me happy, right? Being with you...you make me happy.”

The breath that left his body was swift and sharp and his head fell forward almost immediately, resting against hers, noses touching. He shook his head as if in disbelief of this moment, of her and her love for him, but she knew he had heard her and understood.

Arms wrapped securely around his waist, she let her eyes fall closed once more, his breath fanning out over her face.

"Come on," he finally whispered, and her eyes popped open, “or you're going to fall asleep standing up.”

She opened her mouth to respond that she was awake but only managed a yawn and let her shoulders fall in defeat.

The low chuckle that rose in his chest caught her off guard, but before she could react, his hand grasped hers and lead her down the hallway and into their adjoining rooms.

"A bath," she said immediately upon entering, remembering her earlier plans. "I want to use that Jacuzzi...my shoulders are killing me."

At her words, Oliver stepped up behind her, his hands falling to her tense muscles and began to knead them softly prompting a moan to fall from her lips. She felt Oliver still behind her, his breath hitching but his fingers kept working as her head fell forward and she once again was reminded of the strength that his fingers and hands possessed.

She wasn't sure how long she stood there with Oliver working at her sore muscles. She was beginning to sway when he finally stopped, letting his hands travel down her back to her hips where he squeezed softly, steadying her.

"Go, take a bath and sleep," he murmured, his voice lower than it had been earlier and a swoop of heat filled her belly.

Slowly, her hands lifted to cover his, electricity sparking through her at the touch. She took a step away, his hands falling from her waist and her fingers as she turned around, catching his eyes. Her heart thrummed in her chest when she saw the heated stare that was focused on her. The air was thick around them and she was sure that all she would have to do is walk back over to him and kiss him to push them over the precipice. 

With a deep breath, she turned and headed for the bathroom, grabbing her sleep shorts and t-shirt from the bed on the way.

When she shut the door behind her, she leaned back against it. Her heart pounded in her chest, heat swirling in her body, aching for a release. With a thud, her head fell back and she closed her eyes until she felt more in control of her emotions and then she turned to the large tub.

Forty-five minutes later, she stepped out in a cloud of steam, damp hair up in a bun and her pajamas on as she made her way into her room.

She heard voices coming from the television and looked up to find Oliver sitting on the couch, head resting against the back, his chest rising and falling evenly.

Something caught and tightened in her chest that he'd come to her room, knowing he felt the need to wait and make sure she made it to bed okay despite them being in a safe place.

Images of him putting himself in front of her countless times over the last few days sprung to her mind and she realized with a start that he was doing what he hadn't been able to do when he'd given her over to Slade. He felt he hadn't protected her and now he was going out of his way to do just that. He'd always been protective, but these last few days, she'd felt his eyes on her everywhere and saw how he moved closer to her whenever he sensed the slightest bit of a threat.

With a heavy sigh, she wondered how deep that guilt ran in him - the guilt of using her in the entire plan to stop Slade. She knew guilt and him were good friends - that he even had a special place next to his arrows in his quiver to hold it all. But she never wanted him to feel it over helping them all survive. She would gladly help carry his burdens if he would let her.

Quietly, she padded over to the couch and rounded it, finding him with the remote propped on his chest, his eyes shut as he snored softly. 

She took a moment to study him. Asleep, Oliver was relaxed. His face soft - all of the worry lines and tension gone. 

She'd seen him sleep in the foundry a handful of times, tossing and turning on the small cot, his brow furrowed and agony etched into his features.

He was different this time. He slept peacefully, no lines marring his forehead. 

Gently, she reached out and ran her hand down the side of his face, catching on his stubble. At her touch, his eyes blinked open and she felt the split second that he tensed, taking in his surroundings and then assessing that he was safe as he recognized her.

"Looks like we both need to go to bed," she whispered, smiling as she let her hand fall back to her side.

His eyebrows rose and she shut her eyes tight, "You know what I mean."

The touch of his fingers against her wrist caused her to look at him again and she saw the understanding in his gaze.

With catlike grace, he stood from the couch and she had to take a step back as he pulled himself to full height, a good foot taller than her without her heels.

Craning her head up, she found his eyes traveling over her, that hunger from earlier returning full force as he took her in from head to toe.

She frowned in confusion until she looked down as well and realized she was wearing his shirt and this was the first night he'd seen her wear it.

"I need to go," he said gruffly, his voice so low it made her stomach flip.

Felicity gave him a soft smile, ignoring the part of her that ached to reach out and bring him to her, erase the distance between them and feel his lips on hers as his body molded around hers.

"Goodnight, Oliver," she whispered, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him, knowing his control was on a short leash. 

But before she could step around him, his arm reached out and cupped her cheek. She exhaled sharply at his touch as his breath ghosting over her forehead before he pressed a hot kiss to her temple.

"Goodnight Felicity," he breathed and then he was gone, leaving Felicity with an aching need growing with in her and the sound of his voice saying her name echoing in her head.

She was surprised when he didn't close the door between their rooms but she was also thankful. It was a comfort to know he could hear her if she needed him after last night’s nightmare.

With a yawn, she crawled into the large bed, and despite the emotions tumbling through her, she was out as soon as her head hit the pillow.

A loud noise caused Felicity to wake with a start, her eyes flying about the room as they adjusted to the dark. She could see the faint glow of the moon outside the large windows and frowned when nothing seemed amiss.

Until she heard it again. A loud, desperate cry that ended on what sounded like her name.

Her heartbeat sped up as she jumped from her bed and ran to the door that separated their rooms. As she stepped over the threshold into Oliver's room, she froze at the sight before her.

Oliver sat upright in his bed, sheets pooled at his waist. He was bent over, head in his hands as he gasped out harsh breaths. 

Her eyes watched the play of muscles over his broad back and shoulders as they shook with each deep exhale. He looked so broken hunched over like that and she immediately took a step towards him, instinctively needing and wanting to comfort him.

She knew the nightmare still clung to him when he didn't notice her approach until she was three feet from him. When his head flashed up, eyes alert and wide, she froze, knowing better than to approach a frightened and still-waking Oliver. Shadows and fears from those five years were too close in those moments.

His eyes landed on her and she saw the streak of disbelief and agony before it was replaced with overwhelming relief.

They moved at the same time. He reached for her as she closed remaining distance between them.

His arm banded about her waist when she was within reach and he lifted her on to the bed so she was directly in front of him, half on his lap. Her fingers ran up his shoulders and over his hair as he bent forward, bowing his head and letting it rest against her chest. She felt his harsh breaths on her skin and leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as his hands tightened on her waist. 

"It's okay," she soothed, working her fingers from his head down to his shoulders and against the tense muscles there. Her light touch skipped over his right shoulder, where she knew the dragon tattoo was inked into his skin. Softly, she trailed over the various scars that littered his back, making sure to never break contact with him. 

Slowly, his breaths became slower and she felt some of the tension bleed from his frame. He began to sag against her, his head pressed over her heart and she realized with a start that he was doing the same thing she had done last night - listening to her heartbeat and letting it calm him.

A lump rose into her throat and she grasped him tighter. Her movement caused him to shift, his head gently lifting from her breast to gaze up at her with those dark blue eyes that held a sea of emotion in which she so easily got lost.

He angled his face up towards her neck, his whiskered cheek pressing into the column of her throat and she inhaled sharply at the contact. Her heart sped up and when he flicked his tongue out and pressed a long, hot kiss against her neck, she keened.

Her back arched and his name fell from her lips in whispered plea. She became lost in the sensation of him slowly drawing his hands up her back, his thumbs skimming up her sides and past the slopes of her breasts, no bra restraining them. She bit down on her bottom lip as he moved them up over her chest to her neck with aching restraint. He didn’t stop until his fingers brushed her cheeks as he framed her face with his hands.

Finally, she opened her eyes, Oliver's face inches from hers and she watched - not daring to breath - as he drank her in, his gaze running over her face, memorizing her every facet and feature. She blushed slightly when he let his thumb drop to her lower lip and slowly ran the pad of it beneath and then over her mouth.

A gasping moan worked it's way up her throat and she trailed her hands up his arms, digging in her fingernails.

When he still didn't move, she frowned, watching as his gaze clouded over and she knew he was slipping back into the web of whatever dream had woken him. Turning her head slightly, she pressed a kiss to his palm, nuzzling her nose against it. She heard his gasping intake of breath and turned to face him again. 

His eyes had darkened, but his expression was still stricken and she scooted closer to him so her legs were completely draped over one of his.

Trailing her right hand up his arm, she covered his fingers with her own, urging him with his eyes and actions to tell her what was wrong.

She watched as he opened his mouth, forcing the words through gritted teeth.

"You were dead...I wasn't good enough and you were dead. Everything Slade said came true and," he released a halting breath, his entire chest expanding and contrasting as if the very words cut him to the core. "You were dead."

Tears filled her eyes and she dipped her head down to meet his fallen gaze. 

"I'm right here, I'm safe," she whispered, mirroring the words he'd soothed her with the night before. "You saved me."

His gaze locked on hers, desperation filling his eyes. "But if I hadn't...if I hadn't...I'd never know...you'd never know..."

Her brow knitted together in confusion until she saw his gaze drop to her lips and then he was leaning in towards her. His mouth hovered over hers, breaths mingling as he trailed his thumb over her cheek and his eyes met hers once more, almost begging for permission.

She gave him her answer by closing those last few inches herself. Her lips brushed over his, gently, both seeking and exploring. He tasted like spice and leather and she couldn't get enough. When his tongue ran along her lower lip, she gasped and granted him entrance, threading one hand through his hair as the other ran back down his arm to find purchase on his shoulders. 

She flicked her tongue against his, a sound emanating from her chest as the pool of heat grew steadily within her. And then it was as if a dam broke, and they moved simultaneously. With one arm around her waist, he lifted her and pulled her flush against him, her knees spreading as he turned her so she was now straddling his waist.

His hands were everywhere - on her face, down her neck, over her chest. When one palm cupped a breast through his shirt that she wore, she broke her mouth away from his and moaned. His lips latched onto her jaw and nibbled their way to her ear as he continued to massage her breast, fingers rolling over the hardened nipple. 

Her fingers pulled at his hair,nails digging into the planes of his back as she arched against him. needing more.

His name fell from her lips in a breathless cry and he pulled back, hand stilling on her as their gazes met. Their chests rose and fell as they shared silent confirmation of what they both knew and wanted.

With a gentle tug, he pulled her mouth back to his, his tongue immediately seeking entrance. With one quick move, her back hit the soft mattress and she stared up at him as he leaned on his elbows over her, muscles straining against the skin. She ran her fingernails slowly up his arms, and over his shoulders. A thrill shot through at seeing him braced over her, almost sending her over the edge without any other help.

His hooded gaze trailed over her face and she watched as his lips curved upwards. "You're beautiful."

Heat flooded her cheeks as she smiled softly in reply. 

Shifting his weight, he settled himself on one elbow above her and used his free hand to brush stray strands of blonde hair out of her face. 

"I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of pretending that I don't love you. Because I do, Felicity Smoak. I love you," he whispered, eyes open and honest, staring down at her.

Her heart fluttered in her chest, blossoming with hope and overflowing with a love so deep and strong she felt more at peace and content than she ever had.

"I love you, too, Oliver Queen," she breathed, loving how his name and those words sounded rolled together.

Something akin to awe spread through his eyes and expression and she lifted one hand to his cheek, scratching her nails lightly against his stubble earning her a low growl. A soft giggle escaped her lips and she shook her head. "Don't look so shocked that someone could love you...I've loved you for longer than I knew."

His eyes slammed shut as he leaned his face into her hand. Bringing her other hand to his head, she tugged gently, wanting to feel his weight on her. Ever so slowly, he lowered his body down to hers, shifting to the side just enough so she wouldn't be crushed by all of it on top of her. She spread her legs, widening her hips so he fit against her. It felt so right to have him on top of her, fitted to her in a way that had her body reacting like it never had before.

Propping his head on his hand after placing a kiss at her collarbone, his eyes traveled over her face as his free hand brushed strands of her hair out of her eyes.

"I get to have my shirt smell like you again," she blurted out, the thought popping into her head and unable to filter it before it escaped her lips.

Thankful for the darkness, her cheeks tinged pink and she heard him chuckle before one of his hands traveled down and came to rest low on her belly. 

Her stomach muscles clenched at how close his hand was to where she really wanted and needed it to be. The desire from earlier sparking back to life. Her hips shifted on reflex aching to have him sate the desire quickly spreading through her veins - the desire he was causing to burn like wildfire inside of her.

His fingers moved slowly back and forth over her stomach, only the thin cotton separating his hand from her skin.

When his pinky grazed the top of her sleep shorts, her hips jumped up, the blood pounding through her ears. Her skin prickled with heat and she threw her head back against his pillows.

Before she could say his name again, his lips were on hers, and his hand had slipped beneath the cotton shirt to land on her smooth skin. She gasped at the contact, tiny sparks jolting through her at his touch. Slowly, his hand began to move up, fingers spanning her entire stomach. His lips trailed down to her jaw and then her throat where he sucked the skin at the juncture of her shoulder and neck, nipping lightly causing her to keen as his hand reached the underside of her breasts. He ran his index finger around the slopes of both breasts and she couldn't contain that cry that left her lips or the way her chest arched up off the bed, her hips pressing into his in just the right way seeking relief to the ache building there. She could feel his own arousal pressing against her stomach and that only made her want him more. 

He grunted when her hips flew into his and lifted his head. When she opened her eyes, she found his pupils blown wide, desire permeating his dark blue eyes and she bit her lip in anticipation, chest heaving.. 

Neither of them moved, the air around them charged with electricity, until she finally couldn't take it anymore and she shifted so his hand would be where she wanted it. They both gasped at the contact and Oliver’s crashed against hers. Despite the situation, this kiss was more languid and less rushed. He explored her, both with his mouth and his hands and all she could do was try to hold on to her quickly untethering control.

The rough pads of his fingers over her skin, flicking across her nipples was almost too much for her. She gripped at his hair, fingernails digging into the skin of his shoulders as she cried out when he plucked at one nipple and then the other.

Before she was ready, his hand moved to her back and down to her waist. She whimpered at the lost contact, her back bowing off the bed. She felt his chest rumble, and a smile formed on her lips as she decided it was her turn to play.

Her nails bit into his shoulders, knowing she was leaving tiny moon crescents in his tanned skin. As she slid them over the hard planes of his broad back, she arched her hips up off the bed, tangling her legs with his and pushing up, making contact with his. 

He nipped at her throat, tongue soothing the sting as she let her hands run all the way down to the waistband of his sweatpants, fingers delving beneath and palming his firm ass in her hands. 

When she arched her back this time, she cried out as they came together right where she needed the pressure.

Oliver groaned, his jaw clenching as he held himself above her, her name gritted out between his teeth.

Suddenly emboldened, she wrapped her leg around his and pushed up with her hips, rolling them. Oliver went with her until she was hovering over him, his hands bracing her arms, trailing lightly up and down as he looked at her with a look that only spurred her on.

Straddling his hips, she brought her hands to his chest and ran her fingers over every ridge of muscle, every inked mark and puckered scar. Her lips followed her fingertips, tongue dipping out to follow the lines of his abdomen until she came to the slopes of his hips where the muscle arched down and dipped beneath his sweatpants.

Her eyes flicked up to his, holding his gaze as she ran her tongue along the waistband of his pants, pressing soft kisses as she slowly rolled the edges of them down.

When she laved a wet kiss against his skin, tongue dipping into that ridge caused by hardened muscle, his back bowed and she saw his fists clenched at his sides, veins in his forearms standing out as he fought for control.

He gritted out her name from between his teeth as she stroked him once through his sweats and then she crawled slowly back up his body. Her hands trailed up his arms, feeling the pure strength concealed under the skin as he vibrated with tension from holding himself in control. 

When she reached his shoulders, she ran her fingers up his neck to capture his face in her hands, leaning over so her hair fell like a curtain around them.

His eyes opened, breaths mingling, and everything she’d ever wanted to see was staring back at her.

And then his lips were on hers, his hands delving into her hair, bringing her impossibly closer as his tongue slipped into her mouth and tangled with hers.

The hands at her hips, slid upwards, taking the shirt she wore - his shirt - with him.

She broke away from his lips on a gasp as he pulled it over her head, her curls falling down around her shoulders as he threw the shirt to the side.

Before she could lower her arms back down, he caught them in his hands and held them there, using his body to flip them once more. Before she could blink, she was beneath him him again, her hands pinned above her head as he grinned down at her. 

Her chest rose and fell in a rapid staccato as she watched his eyes slowly break from her and wander down her body. The intensity of his gaze caused her skin to flush, cheeks warming and she involuntarily shifted her hips causing his eyes to flutter and a deep guttural moan to escape his throat.

His gaze flew back to her and pinned her down with the heat and primal need that swept through them. 

His hands tightened on her wrists before slowly trailing down her arms, white bursts of lights firing from behind her eyelids as she took in each and every sensation his touch and taste created in and around her.

She suddenly had the desperate need to feel all of him, skin to skin pressed against her.

“Oliver…” she began but her words trailed off when his fingers reached her breasts, his mouth joining them. 

Her hands fell to his head as she held him there, her mouth opening into a silent ‘o’ as he circled his tongue around one nipple and then the other.

Wetness pooled between her legs and she shifted her hips again, bucking up against him - desperately.

One of his hands, splayed across her belly, keeping her still as he worked her nipple in his mouth, sucking the hardened peak until she was writhing beneath him.

Her hands scrabbled against his back, pulling him closer while trailing down the hardened planes to his ass, her hands dipping beneath the elastic band to squeeze as she thrust up.

An animalistic roar erupted from him as he broke away from her chest.

The look in his eyes sent spirals of heat spinning through her and everything was desperation and need as she began to shove his pants down, not surprised he was wearing nothing beneath.

Large hands fell to her waist and slipped beneath the hem of her boxer shorts and underwear, quickly shucking them from her body and throwing them somewhere behind them.

The moment they were completely bared to each other, their eyes locked and time seemed to slow.

Something in Oliver’s expression changed. That wild, raw desperation eased as he took all of her in. 

“I don’t want to rush this…” he tried to explain through labored breaths, but she both knew they were so close. His concern and desire to make this last made her chest tighten.

Raising a hand to his cheek, she brushed her thumb over his lips. “I don’t think ‘rushed’ is a word that can be used to describe us,” she giggled, some of the burning passion tempered by his words. “It feels like it’s taken us forever to get here…”

Oliver sagged forward, arms braced on either side of her to hold himself above her as his lips twitched upwards. 

“But we are here,” he murmured against her lips. 

“Yes,” she smiled as she pushed up on her shoulder blades and captured his mouth with her own. “And I just need you...now.”

Her voice dropped on the last word, more of a command than anything.

Apparently, it worked, because the heat returned to Oliver’s gaze, a knowing smirk spreading over his face as he very deliberately and very slowly lowered his body to rest against hers, still making sure he didn’t crush her.

The moment she felt him pressed right where she needed him, she groaned, head thrown back, neck exposed as she looped her arms further around his neck as he buried his head in her shoulder.

He fit so perfectly against her and she hummed as she shifted her hips, lifting them and causing him to brush her center.

They both groaned at the contact and she felt the shudder that ran through Oliver’s body, his muscles spasming beneath her fingers as he tried to hold on to the little control he had left.

Felicity turned her head to the side, nose brushing against the side of his face, as she breathed against his ear.

“Oliver, please…let go…I need you…”

At her words, his entire body sagged against her and she took that opportunity to shift her hips even more causing him to move through her. Heat pricked on her skin as spots danced beneath her eyelids and she moaned.

And then he was moving, pressing up and seeking out her lips, hard and demanding and making her gasp as she became consumed by Oliver.

Her legs shifted higher on his sides and one of his hands, found her knee, squeezing before reaching between them and adjusting himself.

Her body thrummed as time seemed to stand still for a moment, her skin feeling alive with electricity and she opened her eyes to find him staring down at her. Her fingers moved through her folds and her hips bucked, breath catching in her throat. Every movement sent sparks of electricity skittering up and down her spine, her body aching with the need for release. The emotions flashing through his darkened gaze was more than she could handle, but before she could take it all in, he was slowly pushing into her.

Her mouth opened, parting as he slipped deeper and deeper. Her back arched, body bowing as the sensation of him inside her took her very breath away.

She held his gaze until he was completely seated within her and then he kissed her slow and hard, fast and gentle all at once.

Her fingernails dug into his sides as she adjusted to his size and finally, she desperately needed him needed him to move.

Her hips bucked and she gasped at the sensation, his grunt filled the air around them, thick with sweat and arousal. Then, he was sliding out and thrusting back in with an intensity that shook her to her core.

Her heart beat wildly in her chest as emotions swept over her - this is exactly what she’d wanted and needed for so long. Them tangled up in each other’s arms, moving together as time stood still and they cherished each other.

This was her future. Him. Everything he meant to her. Everything she wanted. Was this man.

He shifted her leg up higher and the new angle along with the fast pace he set, caused her to cry out. She moved her hips with him, and he groaned, his lips finding hers in another messy kiss.

Every movement brought her closer and closer to that edge she’d been building toward since that morning and waking in his arms. Heat flowed through her, pleasure radiating out of every pore of her body as she tensed around him, muscles clenching as she cried out.

Oliver changed his pace, leaning forward to kiss her face - her nose, her forehead, her mouth before moving his lips to her ear. His fingers circled her nipples, palming her breasts as he moved over her.

“Let go for me,” he murmured, thrusting two more times, hard and fast and then she was falling, the sound of his voice echoing in her ears.

White, hot pleasure flowed through her, and her vision blacked as the sensations overtook her body. She felt him still moving within her, hips thrusting erratically until she heard him cry out, his face buried in the crook of her neck, her name falling from his lips in a deep, guttural voice.

Her limbs felt heavy, but she somehow managed to move them to his hair, running her fingertips over the soft strands at the nape of his neck as he caught his breath.

The solid, sure weight of him on top of her pressed her down into the mattress, pinning her so she couldn’t move, but she found she craved it. She wanted to savor this moment, both of their heartbeats racing inside their chests, bodies calming and coming down from their high with each other.

Slowly, she felt herself catch her breath and he shifted above her, lifting on his arms to stare down at her.

She smiled lazily up at him, moving her head to kiss him and he met her halfway in a soft, languid kiss.

His hands stroked through her hair, brushing her damp curls from her forehead as he pressed kisses to her temple and then back to her mouth.

“I love you,” he whispered against her lips and she replied by pulling him back down to her and slipping her tongue in his mouth.

When he finally rolled off of her, she whined at the loss of contact, but found that she was too tired to move. She felt the bed shift and faced his side of the bed, and then he was back, a damp cloth between her legs as she fought to keep her eyelids open.

As he crawled back in beside her, she turned on her side, his arm already reaching for her to tug her against his chest.

She sighed as she laid her head over his heart, her fingers tracing soft meandering patterns against his skin.

He wrapped her in his arms and pressed his nose to her hair, breathing her in as she let sleep overtake her.

Just before she drifted off, she heard him murmur the same Russian phrase he’d murmured the night before.

Pressing herself further against him, she murmured her response into his chest and he stilled before holding her tighter and she smiled as she drifted off to sleep.

They’d made it through the Undertaking and Slade. They’d make it through whatever life brought their way. There was always light after the darkness, and they’d found it together.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A/N:** Here it is, everyone. The epilogue and final part to this story. It's been so much fun to write this story and explore their relationship the days following Slade's capture. I truly can't thank you enough for all the support!
> 
> As always, I'd love to hear what you guys think. I'm happy with this epilogue and I can't wait to hear your thoughts as well!

It took them three more weeks, but they finally went on their first official “outside of the mansion or lair” date. They’d been so busy with getting the Foundry redone and beginning the process of getting the company back that they barely had enough energy to take off their clothes every night much less go anywhere to eat.

They still slept in the adjoined rooms, only he usually slept in hers with her. The change in their relationship did not go unnoticed by Diggle or Roy, and both finally confronted them as they were unloading Felicity’s belongings into the mansion.

Diggle made a point to talk privately with both of them, wanting the best for each and to make sure they knew what they were getting into; big brother to the end - Felicity thought as she hugged him tightly and he huffed out a laugh.

“I said that out loud, didn’t I?” she mumbled against his shirt as she stepped back and he gave her a quick peck on the cheek as he nodded.

Roy was more vocal about it, and his wry comments were often regretted when he trained with Oliver on the mats. Felicity reminded him after one particularly brutal session that at some point, he had to learn Oliver’s tells to know when he was going too far.

And he was learning...slowly.

He’d asked her to dinner after their first successful week back in the field and she couldn’t contain her grin as she threw her arms around his shoulders.

He’d chuckled against her skin, pressing a trail of hot kisses to her shoulder exposed by the dress she’d chosen that day. A bright pink that matched the color of her lipstick which she’d learned very quickly did live up to it’s name - staying on her lips instead of transferring to his. He’d held her close, causing heat to trip down her spine as he sighed and relaxed into her - letting go of the worries of the day.

That night, she decided on a red peplum dress that hugged her curves and stopped just below her knees. Two thick straps covered her shoulders, but her favorite part of the it was the zipper that ran the length of the back from top to bottom.

She left her curls in waves around her shoulders, and opted for her contacts and her red pumps. 

When Oliver appeared in the doorway to her room, he stopped short, eyes raking over her causing a shiver to run up her spine. Blue eyes darkened, his hands flexing at his sides, and she couldn’t stop the small smile that came to her lips as she bent down to slip her shoes on her feet.

Standing, she grabbed the gold clutch from her bedside table and walked towards him. Her eyes took him in, her belly flipping when she noticed the suspenders over his crisp white dress shirt, his dress jacket thrown over one arm. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth as she stopped in front of him and let her eyes travel up his torso to his face.

The second his eyes met hers, he moved, stepping forward and sliding a hand to her lower back, effectively pulling her flush against him. His lips crashed against hers and her hands lifted, curling under the suspenders and using them as leverage to bring him even closer, if that was possible.

She moaned when his tongue flicked over her lips, tracing the seam until she opened to him, gasping sharply as he pulled sensations from her that she could feel all the way to the tips of her toes. As he deepened the kiss, his other hand ran up her arm to her neck and into her hair, cupping the back of her head and tilting it to the side as he swept his tongue through the deep recesses of her mouth.

When she let her hands travel down between them, running the length of the suspenders and stopping at the top of his pants, he let out a grunt and she could feel him pressing against her. 

For a brief second, she thought about forgetting dinner all together and pulling him all the way into her room - their room - and to their bed.

It was tempting but they’d been planning this for weeks and, as if Oliver had the same thought, he slowed the kiss, lessening the pressure until his lips were ghosting over hers, and then he pulled away completely. His forehead fell to rest against hers as they both tried to catch their breath.

He whispered how beautiful she looked against her mouth and then once more as he tugged on her earlobe and made her knees threaten to give out.

“So gorgeous,” he murmured, and she shivered.

She slid her hands up his chest, over the suspenders all the way to his broad shoulders and hummed in appreciation as she told him exactly what she thought of them and how much they’d always turned her on.

The desire that flashed through his eyes was enough to send a tendril of heat straight to her core and once again she debated the merits of skipping dinner all together.

They managed to make it to the restaurant despite the temptation to stay home - a small, quiet Italian place softly lit by candles and low lighting. It was warm and inviting, and Felicity smiled as she and Oliver were seated near the windows, city lights dancing in their view. 

It was wonderful, and overwhelming at the same time. 

Felicity felt her heart tighten in her chest as she took a moment to realize that she was finally on a date with Oliver - sitting and eating and talking - out in public. And it wasn’t weird or different - it felt right and natural and perfect.

As they waited for their food, he began to open up to her - talking about his past; things he’d never mentioned before, and she listened intently, her hand sliding across the table to cover his - silently letting him know she wasn’t going anywhere.

All she could hear was the quiet murmur of his voice, and the soft din of the restaurant around them. 

The next thing she remembered was a loud noise and then darkness. 

Distantly, she heard Oliver shouting her name, pleading with her. She heard sirens and alarms and screaming. Her arms and legs felt heavy, refusing to move. Her eyes wouldn’t open and when she tried to answer Oliver, she only tasted ash and soot.

She felt him around her, the sensation of being lifted and tried to turn her head in that direction. His voice was low and sounded broken as he repeated a desperate mantra against her ear.

_Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me._

Everything in her body wanted to reach out to him, open her eyes, and tell him she wasn’t - that she was still there with him, but she couldn’t. Nothing would work when she told it to and then she felt herself slipping into unconsciousness again and as much as she tried to fight it, she couldn’t.

When she finally did open her eyes, it hurt. Centimeter by centimeter, she lifted her heavy eyelids. Everything hurt but she knew she needed to try - she had to wake up.

A dark shape hovered over her, blocking out the harsh fluorescent lights behind him. 

Oliver.

His shoulders were shaking, his hands braced on the table next to her. She saw the anguish on his face, the hard line his mouth was set in as he broke down.

Slowly, she concentrated on lifting her hand, not trusting her voice. When she saw it moving, she was relieved and reached out to him. The second her fingers met his skin, his eyes popped open and he stared down at her in relief and disbelief. 

His eyes were red-rimmed and she knew he’d been crying.

His hands were on her face before she could even try to speak, one hand running over the top of her hair and the other cupping her cheek.

She swallowed three times, each one a little less painful than the previous, before she tried to talk.

Her voice came out in a small whisper, but the moment he heard it, he crumpled forward, his head falling to her chest. 

Her arms still felt heavy but they moved a little easier as she carded her fingers through his hair and he let out ragged breaths against her skin. As she held him, she felt her strength slowly returning, aches and pains making themselves known. Instead of focusing on them, she zeroed in on Oliver - his lips moving over her chest, whispering words above her heart that she wasn’t sure were in English.

When he finally lifted his head, he brought his lips to hers and kissed her, long and languid yet full of desperation. She clung to him, her hands fisted in his hair as her tears started to fall. 

It was in that moment she could feel his hesitation, his grief, his uncertainty.

And when he pulled back she held him close, refusing to let him look away.

“That better not have been a goodbye kiss,” she pleaded brokenly, trying to make her voice as stern as possible. “Don’t you dare walk away from this before it’s even begun, Oliver...Please...Don’t…”

“You’re hurt...you could have died...because of me,” his words were so soft, she could barely make them out but she saw the flashes of guilt and fear that haunted his eyes and her fingers held him in place, strong and steady.

A new Count Vertigo. 

He told her the story of how and why, and her heart clenched at the anger that formed on his face. She knew he wanted to go after the man, could see it in his eyes, and wondered how many arrows it would be for him. Three again? Or more.

“I could die every day I walk outside my door, Oliver,” she said softly, throat achingly dry. “This is part of the life we lead, and I’ve made peace with that. But what I can’t make peace with is you giving up on us - you pulling away - you leaving because you think you’re protecting me. I want you _with_ me. I want to be with you. We’re better together. You know that is true. We’ve always found another way and we can do it this time too.”

Tears fell unchecked down her cheeks and Oliver’s thumbs quickly caught them, swiping them away as he let out a long breath.

“I want to be with you too,” he murmured finally, head falling to hers. “I want you. I _need_ you. But I’m so scared of losing you.”

“Pushing me away isn’t the way to keep from losing me,” she rasped against his cheek, lifting his head so she could see him. “We face this and whatever comes, together. Promise me.”

His eyes held hers, watching, searching, memorizing until he finally let out a breath and slid his lips over hers, hard and desperate. She felt his promise in the way his mouth moved against hers, an unspoken oath that he would keep.

When he lifted his head, she let her eyes flutter open, as he voiced what he’d just told her without words. “I promise.”

She smiled softly lifting her head and kissing him once more, letting her lips linger, brushing softly as they both found comfort in each other.

They went home to the mansion together that night - their clothes ruined, but their hearts stronger.

Oliver led her into their room and into the bathroom. He turned on the jacuzzi tub, the jets bubbling to life as steam began to fill the room. 

Slowly, he turned her, sweeping her hair from the nape of her neck. He pressed a kiss at the top of her spine as he slowly slid the zipper down. Felicity’s stomach dropped in anticipation, breath catching in her throat as she felt the brush of his fingertips against her skin. 

Every inch he exposed, he laved with a kiss until he reached the base of her spine. Sliding the zipper over the roundness of her ass and down until he reached the hem of the dress.

She shivered as his lips ghosted over both cheeks, pressing hot, wet kisses against both.

On his knees, he put his hands on her waist and turned her around, her arms holding up her dress.

Catching her fingers, he tugged them down to her sides and trailed his fingertips along her bare skin to the tops of her shoulders. Hooking under the material, he let it slip to the ground in a flurry of fabric.

As he gaze up at her, she felt the butterflies erupting in her stomach, little bursts of heat filling her with every touch to her skin. 

When he leaned forward, nuzzling his face against her belly, she felt a tear roll down her cheek as her hands delved into his hair. He turned his head and pressed a wet kiss to her skin before moving back and hooking his hands in the edges of her underwear. They joined her dress on the bathroom floor as he peppered kisses all the way up her body. His hands roamed over her, touching every place and she could tell this was his way of making himself believe she was still there with him. She saw the haunted look in his eyes when she’d woken on the table - knew he’d imagined her lifeless and never returning to him. Wanting to comfort him, she ran her hands over his shoulders and along his back as he explored her, passing her fingers through his hair and breathing with him as he paused at her chest, resting his forehead against her breast as he listened to her heartbeat.

When he reached her face, he stood, hovering over her as he cupped her face, thumbs brushing over her cheeks as he glided his tongue along her lips. His mouth moved over them, barely touching her lips until she whimpered and craned her neck, seeking more, which he finally gave.

Her fingers ran up his chest, over the soot-covered white cotton. His dress shirt had been left at the Foundry, covered in her blood and neither of them could look at it for too long. Digg had thrown it away before he left.

She tugged and he got the picture. With one quick flurry of movement, his shirt had joined her dress and underwear on the floor and his lips were back on hers.

His suspenders still hung at his sides and she tugged on them before reaching for the closure to his pants and unbuttoning and unzipping, hooking her fingers inside of his boxers as well and pushing them down.

Her body protested too much movement, still sore from the explosion, and so she was glad when he stepped back and got rid of them himself.

When he hugged her, she was surprised, but fell against him, skin against skin as her head laid over his chest and heard the strong beat of his heart.

After a few moments, he pulled back and without a word helped her into the tub, following her in - tucking her in front of him as he began to wash her, running the soft loofah over her soot-covered skin.

By the time they were done, the water was a murky grey and Oliver helped her out and into the shower where he held her against him as the hot water got the rest of the soot and ash out of their hair. With gentle fingers he massaged her scalp, careful of the wound on her forehead.

While he worked, she rested her head against his chest, her eyes closed. She was safe and protected in his arms, and she’d never felt more loved.

She didn’t realize she’d almost fallen asleep until the water shut off and she blinked open bleary eyes.

Oliver’s arm banded around her waist, holding her upright, and she blushed, tipping her chin up to murmur a soft apology.

He hushed her, helping her out, and drying them both off before leading her back into the bedroom.

She saw him move towards the dresser but she shook her head and pulled down the duvet, slipping between the sheets.

She didn’t want anything separating them tonight. She needed to feel him next to her - all of him - skin on skin.

His eyes flashed and then softened as he stepped up to her and took her outstretched hand, climbing in behind her. She smiled when he pulled her back against him, his front of her back, curving around her like a protective shield.

Her hands slipped over his arms that were around her chest and squeezed. He buried his head against her hair as their legs tangled together. She felt the ragged breath against the back of her neck and a small shudder ran through her.

A second later, his mouth was on her skin, kissing the soft flesh at the nape of her neck and then moving to her shoulder. He nipped and soothed with his tongue until a pool of heat had sparked in her belly and she squirmed against him, her hips pressing back into his.

He grunted and then turned her so she was on her back with him hovering over her. The look on his face took her breath away - he looked scared, broken, thankful and desperate all at the same time. He needed her. All of her. He needed to feel her against him and be inside of her. He needed to feel that she was alive.

She saw it all written on his face as he stared at her, asking - begging - pleading.

It was in that moment that she realized she needed it just as much.

Looping her arms around his neck, she pulled him down on top of her, her lips crashing into his.

They made love slowly, exploring every inch of each other. They took their time, learning every tell, every point of pleasure, every scar and mark on each other’s bodies. She felt tears on her cheeks when he finally pushed inside her, filling her completely and she kissed him softly when he looked at her with concern, telling him without words that they were good tears.

She’d almost lost this tonight. She’d almost lost him as much as he’d almost lost her. 

She cried out his name when she came, and he followed quickly after, an “I love you,” on his lips.

She repeated the sentiment in his ear with his weight on top of her, surrounding her, as they both came down.

Always, he’d replied. Always.

He told her about Hong Kong and meeting Waller - the things he was about to tell her before the bomb went off at the restaurant. He whispered confessions against her stomach, her chest, her neck as her hands shifted through his hair and down the hard planes of his back.

She soaked up his words, trying to take his burdens so he wouldn’t have to bear them alone. And -when he was done - his voice hoarse, his eyelids heavy and his face pillowed against her breast - she told him that she loved him again. Always.

He let out a shuddering sigh, expelling darkness and shadows he’d been carrying for so long and accepting her light, as well as the light that had been pushed aside within him.

She smiled when his breath started evening out, knowing he was almost asleep and as she drifted off too, she knew that no matter what came their way - not matter how dark it got, they’d always find the light - together.


End file.
